Thursday, November 30, 2006


Patricia's blog is down..

...i think it just hit me.

10 of My Favorites

1. "Grandma's Homestyle" cookies - the Oatmeal Raisin kind that comes in the purple pack of two... sooo good.

2. A romantic comedy - Failure to Launch, Best Man, The Wedding Planner, My Best Friend's Wedding and others like those. I absolutely love them.

3. Curling up in the bed to watch a movie - I think that must be my favorite place to be. It's the life!

4. CDs - Forget all this digital iPod stuff. My iPod was a waiste of money. I need the real deal. I now understand how those people with vinyl feel.

5. Dressing up - There's nothing like putting on a formal dress or a full gown and looking like an absolute beauty for a night or a few hours. The elegance is intoxicating.

6. Music - My friend recently asked me if I've ever been depressed. I told him that I 100% would have been...if I didn't have music. Music has seriously saved my life.

7. Views - There's something so peaceful and omnipotent about a beautiful view. Especially one at night overlooking city lights. Being privy to a memorable view is a blessing. It always manages to put everything in perspective for me.

8. Shoes - I can't even talk about this... I'm a shoe FREAK.

9. Being tall - I used to hate it, but I must say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Shoo... I even add 3 inches of height with my stilettos on purpose!

10. Photography - Goal: By the Canon Powershot S2 IS 5MP Digital Camera to really get into this new hobby of mine. Can't wait!!

Monday, November 27, 2006


I'm having a quiet day today.
You know those days when you just want to be still and silent.
At times, I like to sit and watch the day go by me.
Just wait and don't speak.
I have a lot of work to do, but I can still do it quietly.
I can hold true to my mood.

There are a couple of things I would like to reflect on.
Bear with me if you don't mind.
I appreciate being close to my friend.
To have another heartbeat pumping next to mine.
To have someone to smile with.
I appreciate someone thinking about me everyday.
Even though they are thousands of miles away.
It makes me feel significant.
I appreciate the life that I was given.
Mistakes and experiences have fortified me beyond belief.
My strength would not be as stable without them.
I appreciate tears that sometimes flow from my eyes.
It's for me to see that feelings are real.
Emotions are heavty.
And the heart is impressionable.
I appreciate the rain that's falling today.
A clean slate it provides.
Washes away a dusty time.
It draws people close to one another.
I love making memories and having moments.
Drives on the coast.
Lights from the far away city.
A simple kiss on the cheek.
I like to grab a hold of fun times.
The ones that have me bent over in pain.
When hearing my girlfriend's laugh makes me laugh even more.
When tears of joy moisten my face.
I'm thankful that I have somewhere to go.
That someone expects me to be there at a certain time.
That people inquire if I'm not there.
That individuals actually care.
I hold on to random acts of kindness.
The ones that open my eyes in surprise.
The out of the blue calls from friends from long ago.
How wonderful it is to still be on their mind.
I appreciate that I remember what it is to be kind.
To give to others what I know I would love.
Making sure that it's the best I can give.
I love how even though I skipped lunch today, I'm not starving.
My stomach is always taken care of.
Even though funds are low and the fridge is semi-empty, I'm always fed.
I just appreciate.
I always appreciate.

Ode to Mya

Just had to give a shout out to my P.G. County lady. I'm proud of you girl. Can't wait for your new CD next year.

In the very beginning...

Had this song on repeat.

I remember memorizing this dance.

Showing off that true tap talent.

And my favorite Mya video. I think this is the best she's ever looked.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Be Still My Heart

I think this has got to be my favorite reggae song ever. I don't care if it's not true classic reggae. This is it! I will always be in heaven listening to this song.

I am SO in love with music right now!!

How I'm Feelin Right About Now...

Update for Dane - Old Kelis.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

November 21, 1982

24 years ago, my mother gave birth to her first child. I still remember the pictures of my father holding me proudly in the hospital. He just turned 26 and my mother was only 21 years old. Of course, this wasn't an anticipated pregnancy. In fact, the news that my mother was pregnant was so unexpected that my mother considered visiting a clinic to abort me. My mother told me the story about how when she asked for information on abortions, my dad proceeded to look at her like she was crazy. 'We're not aborting this child,' he told her. She was surprised because she assumed that both of them knew that a child at that time and age was too much. She was in school trying to complete her bachelor's and my dad was working a measly, minimum wage job at Hechinger's. But trusting in my father and their committment, they got married and had me.

I say all this to say that my birthday is not about me. It never has been. It's not a special day to celebrate my achievments and my life. It's never been J.A.C. day and I've never thought that taking recognition for it was right. It's a day to say thank you to first and foremost to Jehovah God for creating me, and secondly to my earthly father for loving me. My dad gave me a chance to have life, and I seriously would not be here if it weren't for him. Who knows, my mother could have had a change of heart without his coaxing, but I thank him for being so committed to my life. Of course, I have to thank my mother for being so open-minded and for loving me enough to have me. For trusting in the stability of the family. For following the divine family arrangement and being a woman in subjection to my father. I am so honored that my parents devoted their love, time, energy and money into raising me into the woman that I am now. So I have to say congratulations to my parents and the rest of the community that has given me so much concern. Thank you SO MUCH for helping me to make it to this day. This day is rightfully yours...

Monday, November 20, 2006

Blue Collar Or White Collar?

"Can I get the white-collar with the blue trim???"

Daneger asks a very intersting question in this post of his (click link above). In his research, he's being to see a pattern in that women generally prefer blue collar men over white collar ones. He's asking why, and this is the response I gave him. What do you think?

"I want to preface my comment by saying that a good man is a good man, yada yada yada. Whatever form he comes in is fine with me if we are blah blah blah...
Okay. Now that we got that out of the way, I have to say that I too have said that I would prefer a blue collar man over a white collar one.
I'm sitting here trying to formulate my opinion and I'm beginning to recognize that most of my ideas on this issue have come from movies, tv, or some other media outlet.
The corporate man most likely wants to do well within his business. He want to grow and eventually step into a management position. He has great business skills, is extremely focused, has been awarded his very own office administrator, and always looks great in his suits. Sounds great, but what happens when he spends more time at work than at home or he's on call all the time and can be reached at any moment on his office cell phone? What happens when he goes on travel and leaves for one to two weeks at a time? What happens when he comes home at 8 or 9 at night every single night? What happens when it becomes difficult to schedule a vacation? What happens when he's working late nights with his office administrator and something potentially goes down? Now I do realize that I am talking about one end of the white-collar-brother spectrum, and am pulling thoughts from movies, etc. (especially the secretary affair/cheating part), but this doesn't hit too far from home because the majority of my close male friends work on Wall Street. Wathing their lifestyle and observing their relationships, I know there is no way in the world that I could be their girl.
The UPS worker who knocks on my door, the Aquafina delivery guy that comes into my building every Wednesday, or the trash man that I know will be there to pick up my trash every Sunday somehow seem more appealing to me. Maybe it DOES have something to do with them wearing a uniform and using their God-given beautiful bodies in a physical way, but what's even more attractive is that they work during the week, and are off on the weekends. They have time for family, children, and a relationship and their career's aren't number one. They seem consistent.
My dad was/is a bus driver and a firefighter. Very blue collar. He works/worked HARD to support his family, since he didn't make the money that an experienced white collar man would. That's another point to bring out. I know I'm generalizing, stereotyping and everything else but it just seems like a blue collar man works so much harder and appreciates every little paycheck he gets. Of course, white collar men do too Dane, but there's something still so very different. Maybe the appreciation is just stronger? I don't know. Maybe it's the struggle? lol. I feel like I'm beginning to sound ridiculous but I respect a faithful, hard-working blue collar man. Basically it just sucks for white collar dudes that are just as hardworking, attractive, physically gifted and appreciative. =/"

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Remember this song ya'll? I used to play this on repeat in grade school.

How about this one? I cried the first time I saw this video. No lie.

And this one? Don't tell me you forgot...

Last but not least. True Classic.

The Break-Up

Why did I fall asleep at 6:30 last night and not wake up until 5:30 this morning? I didn't even know I was tired!

Before falling asleep, I managed to watch 'The Break-Up' with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. I think I hated it. Not because the movie was bad, but because of how horrible the break-up was. I don't think I've ever seen two people be so nasty to each other. I mean, the things that they did to each other were just horrible. And to think that they actually secretly wanted to get back together!

After a break-up, could you seriously date another person, or another stream of people right in front of your ex's face? Or could you start doing all the things that you know your ex hated in front of them? Not only would that show complete immaturity, but that would imply that you have no respect for the person. I mean, why were you with them in the first place if you didn't care about their feelings? Just because you break-up with someone, does that mean that you automatically hate the person? Yeah, break-ups can be hard, but I don't ever think there's a circumstance where being nasty is appropriate. Correct me if I'm wrong though...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


"Can I talk to you/For a minute
There's something on my mind/
That I want to say..."

I know I've said this time and time again
But what I really look for in life is peace
I need peace in order to get by
Day to day needs to be drama free
Or else I start to fall apart
I don't have time to have worthless crap on my mind
You know what I mean?
There's already too much to concentrate on
I feel like a dude
Emotions, feelings, communication
Forget all that right now
Why do all that right now
For what
Let's try to be as sterile as possible
Just have fun
Leave all that relationship junk out the door

"Reality is taking control of me/cuz I know baby/
I know that your not with me/Ooh lovin u boy/
I wanna contradict my word"

I had a money situation yesterday
But it all worked out
I had to make some major sacrifices
Spending money is no longer mine
I'm seriously strapped
But everything always works out
I don't think Jehovah will ever leave me
Well at least not as long as I serve him that is
I promise you that I almost cried
And I haven't cried in a long time
A very long time
Sometimes it's good to just get it all out though

"I know you ain't tryna be my man/
but what you think about us being friends/
making plans to be eveything we wanna be"

Noche Flamenco is coming to OCPAC
I really want to see them perform
Their 5 day set start on my bday
But I don't have $60 considering what happened yesterday
I'm obsessed with flamenco and spanish dance
The passion is intoxicating
It makes me want to dance again
My energy and life seem to be ignited
But I'll ingite on another day
I gotta keep reminding myself
It's all about sacrifices

"I'm diggin' everything you appear to be/
and im wondering if we could be real good, good friends"

Going home next month is going to be like a revelation
It always is
It isn't until I get home that I truly sit still and breath
Being around people that love you is powerful
There's nothing like that
And I haven't felt it in a very long time
As soon as I go home I won't want to leave
It always goes like that
I miss it
I miss it because I don't have it
Which leads me to believe I shouldn't have it
I shouldn't have it all the time
There would be no point
The connection wouldn't be there anymore
Abscence makes the heart grow fonder right?

"If we could be friends baby/You'll be all I need baby/
I'll give you whatever you want/and never would leave you upfront/
and be what you need baby"

The lyrics to this Keyshia Cole song are a trip
Could we be friends and I be all you need
What does that mean
It doesn't even make sense
I'm confused
What does she want
This goes back to the inevitable question
Can a woman and a man who are attracted to each other really be friends
Dane goes into this quite a bit on his post Friends & Lovers
Everything's always grey where this subject is concerned

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Guilty Pleasure

I know I'm going to get slammed on this, so I'ma tell all of ya'll to Hush The Noise right now. A lot of my closest friends know this about me but I figured I'm not really telling anyone until I blog about it. My guilty pleasure is....

So right now, I'm listening to the album of this guy named Rashad Morgan.

He's a R&B singer who was signed to T.I.'s Grand Hustle Records label in 2005. Slowly but surely, I'm falling in love with this dude. I mean just listen to the music on his myspace page. (I provided the link above.) I'm a sucker for the R&B fellas anyway, so this is no surprise. But what I'm beginning to realize is that I have an affinity for teeny bobber R&B boys!

Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I love Omarion. I just can't get enough of this dude.

I mean how can you NOT appreciate this mans skill? After he came out with "O", there was nothing left to say.

And then, there's this cutie. Mr. Charlie Brown himself.

I'm not as crazy about him as I am about Omarion, but I respect this dude. Being a dancer, I will always find myself drawn to watching him. I think his cool is really nice. He doesn't even dance that much in the following video, but you can definitely see that the boy is talented. I smile when I watch him.

(Oh and remember a long time ago, I blogged about being on a video set? This was the one I went to. When I saw them, they were dancing in front the green screen.)

And then there's this boy. I know I know people. Give me a chance to explain. I like Ne-Yo! Dag! Shoot me! lol.

Yes I think he has "it". Sue me! Most of all though, I admire his writing skills. If only I could write like him. I study this man's lyrics like nothing else.

Can I say that I like all of these guys style and swagger too? I mean is that okay that I'm going on 24 and can't wait to see them in concert? Come on now. Work with me on this. They're all hardworking, talented, young men who have "it". It's wonderful seeing these guys on stage. Try sitting in the audience watching them doing their thang and not being impressed. They are all just too cute making the little girls (and me) excited. I love it!

And look out for this group named O.N.E. I saw them perform at BB Kings here in LA and I was seriously put in a trance. I have never seen bodies as sick as these. Yes I'm talking about the six packs, the chests, the arms... all of it. Guys my age and up tend not to have this anymore. =( Oh and umm...of course they're great singers too. Can't forget that portion of it, seeing as it is why they're performing in the first place. Yeah they got that talent with that all time crazy swagger that I love. lol.

If I was 18 again, I'd definitely be going absolutely crazy for these guys. In a way, I still think I am. =/

Funny though. I wasn't this entertained with the heart throbs of my time; Immature and Chris Cross. Hmm...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Journal Entry - 11/7

Hello World,

How are you today? Me? I'm wonderful as usual. I've never been more blessed. God is certainly looking out for me. I did something really stupid yesterday and sure enough, Jehovah put me in check right away. My incident yesterday showed me just how much He really cares for me.

I went to the gym yesterday for a pilates class. That mess wore my side and butt muscles out! I'm so excited to get back in shape. I am by no means sloppy, but I've noticed a difference in my body ever since I stopped dancing. Things aren't as banging as they used to be, if you know what I mean. I just want everything to be tight.

I called my mother the other day for advice. She's always told me that I would marry someone substantially older than myself, which I believe. That's all cool and fine, but in today's age, I said, what are the chances of me getting involved with someone who doesn't have a child? I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I mean of course my first instincts are to say that I don't want to be a stepmom, but I haven't really formulated an opinion on this yet. Chances are that none of this will matter anyway, but it's an interesting subject. I told my mother that I was shocked that I even have to think about this. Where has our generation gone people?

I read an article on
Kelis yesterday in Vibe's Vixen magazine. I LOVE this girl. She's so... herself. There's no other way to describe her. I love her aura. She inspires me.

My parents are so cute, aren't they? I love those knuckleheads.

I have to pay $240 to get this ticket off my record without accruing any points on my license. I guess that's not bad considering that my insurance would increase if I didn't, forcing me to pay a higher rate for years. Thank goodness for the extra check coming in this month. Just to think, if only I would have slowed down 15 MPH, I could have treated myself to something nice (or put it towards a credit card payment).

In an hour, I'm meeting with a real estate agent to "just talk". I love how they try to make you think there's no pressure. Please. I need to make it clear what I want and where I am in this process. I haven't decided if I'm staying in CA or not, so I might not be in the stages to buy yet. He needs to understand that. I know that owning property in CA would be to my advantage with the way the market is at this moment, but if I leave and have a mortgage here, my options would be severely limited back east. I know he is going to tell me that there are ways around that such as renting out my CA property etc., but when he starts doing that, I'm going to call him on his "no presssure" policy. I gotta get my mind right for this meeting.

Well, I need to do about 30 more minutes of work. I'll continue my journal entry soon. Thanks for reading.


Friday, November 03, 2006


True happiness is so under-rated
I'm so happy it's sickening
I don't think I've ever felt like this before
I feel like I'm living in ecstasy
My world is absolutely perfect
That may be hard to believe though
Outside of these walls, the world is absolutely insane
But in the midst of it all I'm at peace
I'm SO peaceful
I mean it's to the point where no one can make me mad
No one can hurt me
I find myself doing things for others a lot more
I like making people happy
It brings me pleasure
This is a complete 180 flip for me
I used to be so selfish as a child
But finding little ways to make people happy
That fills me up
$50 for my sis (even though I'm broke)
Picking up and ironing board for my boy at Target
Taking my co-workers mail to the post office while running my errunds
I'm realizing that that stuff really does come back to you!
I didn't believe it at first but you wouldn't believe how good life is
Money continues to come out of the woodworks right when I think I'm trouble
My co-worker just gave me nice suede jacket that she can't fit
I mean what is all this
Why is life so good
Why does everything seem to be so aligned
I think people are by nature nice
When you're nice to them first, you bring it out of them
The guard to my office building and I say "Happy Monday", or whatever day of the week it is, to each other every single day.
I walk with a smile on my face and say hello to everyone who passes
I think that picks others up
That's my job!
I'm so giddy!
Who am I right now?!
I'm even excited to turn 24 in a couple of weeks
I feel like my new year is going to be a fabulously radiant year
I'm telling you that it's a wonderful thing to be pleasant, giving, and likable
You know where all this is ultimately coming from though right?
My relationship with God!
That's the ONLY reason I am in this swirl of joy
Living according to His high moral standards makes everything worth while


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