Friday, March 28, 2008

Solange's "God Given Name"

Why does this actually sound okay? Listen


It's Friday!! Today's going to be a good day. The people who are going to Jay and Mary's concert tonight are so hype, so that brings some nice energy into the office today. My co-worker Joel is all dressed up, looking fresh. It's funny what a concert can do to you. I remember when JennWill and I went to see Bey at the Staples Center. We were hype all day. Playing all her CDs and whatnot. So of course I'ma hear Jay all day. Which is fine by me. He IS pretty great.

I just finished laughing and reminiscing about "The Cosby Show" and "A Different World" with my co-workers. Gosh I loved those shows. Besides "Everybody Loves Raymond", these are the only 2 sitcoms that can make me laugh! I think it's because of how well I relate to them.

Here's a CLASSIC episode of "A Different World". I still remember the night my mom, sister and I watched this when it aired. We taped it on VHS because we came home late that night. This scene still gives me goosebumps. Enjoy! Whitley and Dwayne Forever!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

What Are Your Insecurities?

That's what I asked baby boi this morning. As a man who seems to be the epitome of a black superhero, I had to wonder if he had any? He's always so strong, positive, and on point all of the time that I remember wondering if he was human. He texted me today and said, "I'm sure I do. I think I just don't let the control me." As always, he delivered a perfect answer. He added, "Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes that's bad. It's good to let your feelings out." Bingo again. As African-American people, we often don't see weak, black men. (Excluding the ones that are just plain trifling that you and I see all the time.) Throughout the decades we, as a people, have had to toughen up. We are thrown so many injustices, racial and otherwise, that we really have no choice. But the fact of the matter is that our black men do have insecurities. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I read a comment from an African-American man this morning. "Sometimes a man might walk around acting as if he's Superman, but he's not, and he knows it. We have insecurities just like women do. Men wonder, Am I good-looking? Thin? Successful? Smart? If want you want is a man to really love you and truly trust you, do whatever you can to help him understand that he can talk about those things with you and not be seen as less of a man because of it." There was another article called "Fear Factor" in Essence last month that spoke to the many but secret anxieties that keep us women from being who we truly want to be. The most common ones were "If I let myself shine, people will hate me", "I won't have enough money", "I'll be rejected in love", "I'll end up alone", and the one that most resonates with me "I don't have what it takes". The article is an interesting read and I would recommend it to both women and men.

So here's a bare-it-all question for you. What are your insecurities? You don't have to answer in public if you don't want, but do you recognize them and know how to overcome them?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My Day26 Album Review

Okay ladies and gentleman. You must go purchase this album. There is no doubt that these boys are good. Singing FOOLS I tell ya! I deem this album the sexiest album of spring 2008. I do admit it Sean John. This album improves my sexy. I even walked different this morning while listening. But it's hard not to when you have a man in your ear begging you to be his co-star or talking about rose petals in the bathtub. Not even JenWill, being the woman she is, can deny the power of these men's melodies. On the real though, between DK and Day26, I would without a doubt pick up the fellas album first. But maybe that's the woman in me. There aren't a plethora of times to bounce my body to club hopping, independent woman tracks. I can however, listen to a crooning man 24 hours a day. It's a good thing these boys are good, cause they sure aren't much to look at. Holla!
Good job Diddy.
Highlights - "Come With Me", "Silly Love", "Co Star"

Monday, March 24, 2008

Saying Goodbye... always hard, but this time it was near torture. How do you extend a minute into an hour? Give me the instructions because without them, I might die. I cried again. I thought I would be used to being suddenly ripped away. But instead, it hit me like a ton of bricks. We're both tired. Two to three days together after thirty days or more of being apart is absurd. He said he's tired of leaving me like this, and I'm tired of straining, grasping and flailing for seconds of time. When you go from smiling in each other's face at six pm to being over three thousand miles apart by eleven, you wonder if you ever saw each other at all.

I should have taken today off.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Day 26's "Got Me Going"

In The Middle Of The Day...

I have the worst headache right now. I really need to lay my head down on this desk. All I ask for is 5 minutes. Can I please have 5 minutes?

Surprisingly, my afternoon is light. The sales meeting was cancelled, so I don't have to worry about preparing. I haven't had a time to blog during the workday since I first started. I thought that I would have more "time to myself", but I realize most people who work for someone else don't have time for know, being that you're paid to work for someone else. It's funny how I've been conditioned to think that you're supposed to have time for yourself while on the job. Now that I don't get "my time", I'm confused. I need more than just my hour lunch. What is this? Working all 7 or 8 hours? I don't know what that means. =)

Oh my head...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Before I Run To Duane Reade...

Thank God for new music. I've completely fallen in love with a couple of new CDs, so I'm comfortably distracted. For a while at least. There's nothing like discovering new a song. You're hypnotized for 3 days at least. Nothing else in the world matters. I love it.

My job is breaking my back. Overwhelmed isn't even the word to describe how I feel. Monday, I almost freaked, but in true j.a.c. style, I held it together. My mother told me that I'm the manager of my own work load. Not everyone can have everything at the same time, so they must wait. And that's my m.o. I have a few pricings to work on today, but I'm not going to kill myself like I did earlier this week. I have a right to take lunch dangit.

Spring officially begins in a week. Not that that really means much for NY, but it means that there's a rainbow on the other side. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Speaking of light, I miss it! These buildings are too dang tall! I haven't seen a cloud in forever! One thing I've learned is to never take nature for granted. Parks with acres of green grass, huge and old matronly trees, and dirt paths... I'm really looking forward to going home and getting out of the city for a hot sec. It's exciting here, but not that exciting.

I need to do some journaling. It appears that I choose to crack my journal open in distressing times only. If I look back on the last few entries, there's nothing light. I'm always trying to figure something out - doing some mighty soul searching. I need to log the good times too right? Talk about a few of the things I'm grateful for.

I need to get my butt back in dance class. I haven't been in quite awhile due to work and laziness. It's funny because I thought I might gain a few more pounds living with my aunt, since she's always cooking, but nope. I'm the same size as always. I wonder when it's going to catch up with me though. It just has to. I know it.

I got my tickets for the Philly show of the Glow In The Dark tour last night. I hate the responsibility of keeping these tickets. What if I forget them?! What if I forget where I put them?! One thing is for peers will hate me. Well, I am going home soon. I'll just take babykace her tickets so I won't be held responsible. Perfect.

April is going to be a dull month. No trips. No holidays. Just 30 days of work. Booooo.

Oh hey! Guess what? I got over my shopping fix! I'm not quite sure how because I didn't even really shop. I bought a dress and that's it! So I'm really happy that it was only a passing feeling. I'm sure it'll be back, but at least I have peace for a while. And once I get my clothes in and out of the cleaners, I'll have a whole new and fresh wardrobe to work with! Can't wait!

Have a good day peoples.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Is Anybody Listening?

I wanna come out of the dark
But breaking away is so hard
Show me a way
Just show me a way
Show me which way to go
Can't do this by myself
Don't know how I should play
The cards that I've been dealt
Is anybody listening?
Can anybody answer my prayer?
Please say yeah
Does anybody feel the same?
And is there anybody who cares?
Life's unfair
I want something more than this
I've given all I can give
Show me the way
Won't you show me the way
I just wanna feel I belong
I just need the strength to be the strong
Show me a way
Won't you show me a way
Show me which way to go
Can't do this all alone
Don't feel like I know how
To make it on my own
Is anybody listening?
Can anybody answer my prayer?
Please say yeah
Does anybody feel the same?
And is there anybody who cares?
Life's unfair


Danity Kane's "Damaged"

Danity Kane - Damaged
Uploaded by dris

Friday, March 07, 2008

Fresh & Sexy

As Will and Jada say, you have to keep a relationship "Fresh & Sexy". We’ve all hit the slump before, when starring into one another’s eyes still holds “promise,” but it’s not something we can’t spend the entire afternoon doing anymore. Last night, I was asked how to keep it "Fresh & Sexy" and I wasn't awake enough to answer. So in an attempt to educate myself and others, I did a little research this morning. Here's some information that I found. But before I do that, I would like to point out that we shouldn't be so suprised when "the spark" leaves a relationship. We're human, it's natural and regrettably very normal in long term relationships. Consider it the next phase as opposed to the end. Rather than giving up, take comfort in the fact that it happens to everyone and that we can get through it. You are either sure you love one another or you're not. If love is still there, there's hope. So here we go.

"Don't get into a routine of going to the same place every time you go out. Try new things and new places. Try different restaurants, walk beach at night, or pull the ultimate surprise and cook dinner for her. If you keep mixing things up it will be a constant thrill for her to be dating you and it will make the relationship much more fun and enjoyable."

"One of the simplest things that one can do to prevent the passion from slipping away in your relationship is to care about your own appearance and hygiene. I mean, you have to care about how you look if you want your partner to care. That only makes sense. Doesn’t it?"

"Plan time for each other on a daily basis to keep the spark of passion from going out, and to get it back if you have lost it. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day and the couples that last are the ones that take time for each other and don’t make excuses."

"Sometimes just the idea of a romantic vacation together can help to spark your relationship. Just take the time out on an afternoon and sit together making a list of places that you want to go together. This kind of daydreaming together helps solidify the relationship and make each partner feel more secure, which leads to greater intimacy."

Here are some I've thought of:
Play a game
Read a book together
Do something fun and crazy
Compliment one another
Learn something new about your partner
Give your partner a gift
Have a pillow fight
Leave love notes
Celebrate the anniversary of when you first met
Go to a dumb movie and make out in the theatre
Be silly together
Send letters via snail mail

How do you keep your relationship "Fresh & Sexy"? Even if you're not in one, add to the list! Let's see what you got!

Thursday, March 06, 2008


My favorite song on Discipline! Oh my goodness, this girl is so sick!!!!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

San Diego Freeway

I can't sleep.

I can remember the times when I was most happy. Or should I say, the most free. It was during drives from San Diego on a never ending freeway. I was often escorted home to my place by darkness... the beautiful night sky with a few trickling lights here and there. But my biggest accompaniment was music. Music that filled my car up to the sunroof. When I close my eyes and play certain songs, I can feel those night drives. Whizzing by traffic at 80 miles per hour while notes carried me away. There was a certain comfort and free space that those moments gave me. I was given a sense of entitlement and independence. I needed no one to survive but my car, the road ahead of me, the night sky and my music. Sometimes I would pull into my parking spot after the two hour drive and wonder where the time went, and even question if I was really driving. Looking back, I can only be amazed that I'm still alive because I was definitely not in my conscious self. The only things I remember are my headlights on the road in front of me, and that feeling... That free feeling... Perhaps I felt so free because I felt confined at my ex boyfriend's place in San Diego. It was always a relief to get back into my own rhythm. To not have to rely on someone to make me feel comfortable... a someone who never cared about my comfort. I miss that highway. I miss that feeling. An out of body experience, but nonetheless, a feeling I can never forget. That's when I was the most happy. On the dark San Diego freeway with music in my ear and stars above my head.

(Where in the world did that come from?)

Sunday, March 02, 2008


IT IS SO INCREDIBLY HARD NOT TO SHOP. I don't really know what's happening to me, but I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I can't exactly shop the way I did while living in California. Summer clothing usually tends to be less expensive than winter clothes, so a little bit here and there didn't necessarily hurt my wallet. Additions to my east coast wardrobe will cost me a pretty penny. I've been focusing on getting rid of my credit card debt, so charging clothes would be pretty dumb, but MAN! When do I get to reward myself for all of the hard work I've accomplished?! You might say 'well j. save money and pay cash for the clothes you're feinding for'. But guys! You don't understand! It's harder than you think!!!!! Yes I'm whining! But I don't care! You have to understand! My student loans, which kick back in this month, are consuming my extra income. And remember all the traveling I told you about?! I won't have much left after all the plane tickets I have to get. And aren't traveling and new clothes supposed to go together? =( There are just too many temptations (stores) out here. Grand, wonderful, and fabulous temptations on every corner. I'm a crack fiend in a world full of crack! Help!
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