Tuesday, December 12, 2006

No Words

I know I'm about to get hounded on this one but I hate "We Fly High (Ballin')".

I just happened to turn on BET's 106th & Park for the first time in a while, which was my first mistake, but I forced myself to sit through it (my second mistake) because... well... actually, I don't know why. I guess I was just curious because I haven't seen videos in a while. But sitting there watching our very own tv station pour through video after video of crazy thick woman bouncing their booties and titties in the camera, dudes swinging insane amounts of money from their necks in the form of bling, musicians displaying their means of wealth through superficial crap such as cars and clothes, and simple-minded humans pretending like they're the God's gift to the human race, seriously made me want to throw up! Can someone please explain something to me? Who looks at these people and says, "Oooo! He got diamonds on his neck, wrist AND pinky!! I WANT HIM!!" Help me out because I just don't get it. Is that attractive?! I mean, what does that really mean? Why would you do that? Why would you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars just to show your wealth around your neck?!!! Who told them that was "cool"?!! Maybe I'm not understand something about the hip hop culture or something? Does this whole bling business mean that we've made it? Did the white man take away our diamond chains back in slavery times and we're doing our best to re-claim what was stolen? I just don't understand. Somebody PLEASE explain it to me.

But anyway, I digress. Actually no. I didn't digress. It's the perfect segue way to Jim Jones and his arrogant a$$ song. So he came onto 106 to present the remix to his all-time infamous song. But before I get into the video, how are you going to sport all these diamonds in the face of your belt and then have your dirty heather grey fruit-of-the-loom draws sitting up next to your "bling" like that? Pull up your pants fool!!! You want someone to be impressed but how are we going to do that when we're forced to look at the same draws that brotha man from the fif' flo had on! I'ma go ahead and call that a fashion oxymoron. That's like filling a Tiffany's ring box with a bunch of little turds! I'ma need you to lay those diamonds against a crisp white shirt or a tucked in $250 t-shirt or a grown and sexy blazer sweetie. What sense does that make?

Anyway, if you happened to be as enraged as I am about this whole BET/video/Bling Bling issue, than you'll feel me on this Jim Jones video. Why are these fools (Diddy, Young Dro, T.I., Santana, and Jim Jones) running around like some children throwing ridiculous amounts of money into the air!? No. I'm not talking about the amount of money that we normally see in videos. One simple roll of hundreds being tossed at the camera...Nah homie. What I saw was CRAZY. Among other over the top things, I can't figure out what really got to me the most. Was is when one of them fools kicked a mountain of cash into the camera or was it when they took a box full of money and dumped it over Diddy's head or could it have been when they went on to play paper, rock, scissors and the winner was awarded with a freakin wad of money!? You know what though? It wasn't so much the money that was the problem... NAH. It was definitely the money. I think what made it worse was their attitudes. Their stank, arrogant, conceited attitudes. I hated it. And now I hate everything that the song stands for. And now, like Daneger said in his most recent post, I hate Dipset. "I hate dipset and all things related to such detriments to society." WORD!

Other Observations:
1. Are we in the hoody era or something? All of a sudden everyone's wearing crystalized hoodies!
2. Is it me or does it seem like Snoop has about 4 songs out right now?
3. Would you watch if Beyonce/Fergie/The Pussycat Dolls/Ciara/Janet weren't winding and grinding in scantily clad ensembles?
4. Is Tyrese...oh excuse me...Black Ty really rapping? Is he for real?
5. If you could predict the next hip hop fashion trend, what would it be?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Random Thoughts and Questions

1. It's an Anthony Hamilton, Mary J. Blige kind of day. "Where Did It Go Wrong?". "Take Me As I Am". They're just crying out for a little bit of understanding and consciousness. Ya know?

2. What do you do when someone you like has a wall up that's impossible to climb? How do you go on without doing the same in return even though you don't want to? But wouldn't I look like the fool if I didn't?

3. What do you do when you want to fall apart and there's no time to?

4. How do you deal with working in a stressful environment that literally affects the pain in your body?

5. I guess you can tell that I'm not in the greatest of moods. I'm ready to hibernate. At least vacation is only 13 days away. That's 12 days too long of a wait. I want to go home.

6. When I feel like this, I found that it's best to do things for others. I bought 7 'Thank You', 'Just Thinking Of You', 'Friendship' cards yesterday at CVS. It was nice to fill them out.

7. I was scheduled to go to wine country with the girls this weekend, but I was diagnosed with a severe muscle spasm in my trapezoid muscle. Prescription drugs and wine don't mix too well together do they? This quick escape would have been right on time.

8. Is it wrong or selfish to disappear for a couple of days? I know you're going to say no, but it is not appreciated when people care about you and want to hear your voice. The answer's not as easy as you think it would be.

9. I think I'm going to go to the library tonight and just read. Yeah, I know it's Friday but I need to get away and lose myself in a quiet space. People are going crazy out here. Doing stupid stuff. Not being caring enough. The world is crazy and I wish I wasn't a part of it.

10. "A friend like you makes me appreciate how rare and beautiful true friendship really is. I am so grateful for what we share, and I hope you will always be a part of my life." Beautiful card t.c. It's sitting on my desk here at work. Thank you again.

11. I emailed my manager yesterday to tell him that I'm actively seeking new employment. He sent me a meeting notice for 10 - 11 am. A whole hour! I really don't feel like doing this today. I think I might just tell him that too.

12. My pain medication hasn't quicked in yet and I have to go into a mock audit in 15 minutes. The stress is going to kill me if these drugs don't take over soon.

13. My co-workers are over there making a fuss about my audit and the auditors. Stuff that can't be helped. I'm so thankful for headphones and music.

14. I have a serious problem telling my manager I'm sick or I don't feel well. I know it's not smart but I'd rather duke it out than to go home and take care of myself. I feel like such a slacker when I do. I know, I know people... Not smart.

15. "You're like a cadillac/cool breeze in the seventies/you and me/holding hands talkin family/that southern thing I like/you got that southern stuff I like/It's like after school/feening hard cuz I'm in to you/bar-b-que/I'll even open the door for you/I know that's what you like/you got that southern stuff I like... Let's take a ride/swing to the other side/I'm much obliged to meet your acquaintance/you're full of substance/and oh girl i love it." Yes Anthony H. I love it. Southern Stuff... How more simple and sweet can you get?

16. Why is it that I like listening to sad songs? I can always see the video when I listen to songs about heart break, pain or suffering. Crazy huh?

17. Did you hear that there was an E.Coli outbreak at a Taco Bell in 6 states!? Illlll!!!! My goodness!

18. How many times are they going to say that Beyonce and Jay-Z are about to get married?!! This is ridiculous! This is like the stupid, little boy that cried wolf. It's so sad cuz their wedding day isn't even going to be sacred anymore. Paparazzi, please just let them live.

19. True or False : All is fair in love and war.

20. Have a good weekend everyone.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Get In, Fit In

Everyone wants to be like the other
Look around and you will discover
Take a chance and try something different
Don't be scared, you might make a difference

Some people might call it crazy
And they may laugh at you and say you's a fool
But you can't care what they say cuz
Before you know it they'll be following you

Try so hard to copy my style
Take a lesson, I'll show you how
But why not try to do something different
Take a chance, you might make a difference

Get in, fit in.
Get out, get out.

Get in, fit in.
Get out, get out.

If you want some, come get some!
You don't want none. Come get some!

Word CeeCee!!!

The Evolution

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Last Question

My friend mentioned that I don't toot my own horn enough. It's kind of uncomfortable for me to do so, but I'm inspired to write the following. In light of the interviews I've been on recently, I'd like to simulate an interview with the man of my dreams.

Man of my dreams:
Ms. Croom. You've done a very good job thus far in answering some difficult questions. I appreciate your candor and sincerity. Your responses are clear, concise and in harmony with your application. While you have done a nice job, I have one more question for you. Your response could make or break this interview so be very careful how you answer it. What sets you apart from the rest of the applicants in this pile? You've given me some ideas, but what makes your stock so full? In other words, why should I hire you?

My response:
First of all, I want to thank you for the opportunity to apply for this once in a lifetime position. I understand that you could have chosen a myriad of other women to be here today, so my sincerest gratitude is extended to you right now.

Mr. Man of My Dreams, I guarantee you that I have what you are looking for. I would like to start with the basics and work my way into more substantial material.

First and foremost, I think it's important to let you know that I can cook. I haven't had the opportunity to dine many men in my life, but I know that you will not be disappointed by my abilities in the kitchen. My parents taught me very well in this regard as I was tasked with cooking dinners during my summers home from college and summer breaks in high school. I actually am very excited to have someone to cook for if I am hired.

My cleaning abilities are superb. Again, my responsibilities at home while living under my father's roof have taught me what clean is and to actually DO these chores. Many people understand what clean means, but acting upon this understanding may not come as a second nature. Personally, I can not live in a dirty home and would not want any man of mine to do the same.

I am not raunchy, nasty, unkept, or promiscuous. I respect myself and my body. I do not consume illegal substances and only drink alcohol in moderation. I am classy with a quiet spirit and promise to never embarrass you. I am well educated and can hold an intelligent conversation with diverse individuals. However, I also know when to turn it off. Being down to earth is just as important to me as it is to the next person. I love to laugh, do new things, and get my hands dirty. Because of my respect for my body, I will maintain this physique that I've noticed you eyeing. Because of my desire to "keep it tight", rest assure that you will always be happy with my outward appearance. I know how to make you proud amongst others because I understand it's important to you.

I love football. Enough said.

I have my own interests, goals, and friends. You won't have to worry about not having your own time as I too need mine.

Living on my own for the last few years has taught me financial responsibility. I can provide you further documentation to support this claim. For now, please find my credit report and investment portfolio in your file. My finances undoubtedly aren't as pristine as they could be, but I am looking forward to putting our minds together to increase net worth. I must add that while money is great to have, there are other things that are more important.

I have talents that are better left demonstrated than spoken. You will appreciate my curves, my flat stomach, my long legs, and my soft skin. My sexuality will leave nothing to be desired. I will pledge myself to make you happy. I have not had a lot of experiences to speak of...actually only one..., but I am confident that connection, passion, and love will make up for anything that I lack.

My nickname among my closest girlfriends is 'Mama Jen'. I think that attests to the motherly attributes within me. I have always believed that I was put on this earth to be a mother, and thus look forward to children of my own. I was given nothing short of love, attention and discipline as a child and vow to give the same to my children.

God's arrangement tells us that a family is an organization, and to operate smoothly, it needs a head. Just as Jesus Christ has a head, I heed the counsel at 1 Corinthians 11:3 where it says that the head of a woman is the man. I understand that your position as a husband and a family head will be a heavty one, which is why I already know that mistakes have to be made. However, know that I will never belittle you or take over your headship. I will always respect your decisions, even if I do not agree with them. Together we will learn from our experiences. Of course I was raised as a strong woman. So please understand that while I must be in subjection, I cannot be ran over.

As far as strong women go, I have gone through many experiences and obstacles in my life which have built me up to be the woman that I know you are looking for; the strong woman to stand by you through trials and tribulations. I know what nonsense is. I know the definition of pettiness. I understand how to pick my battles. I can identify excuses. I understand the principle of compromise and how to give and take. It wouldn't be fair to let you think that I always have it together though. While I am strong, at times I can be sensitive and in need of your strength. I am hoping that our unity, if you chose to hire me, can support that.

I recognize that as a wife and a mother, my life is no longer my own. In fulfilling my role, there will be no room for selfishness. Again, I have to draw from the scriptures and point out that a woman's role is "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sound in mind, chaste, workers at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands". (Titus 2:4,5)

If I could change my middle name, I would change it to 'Peace'. I am not a woman of drama and actually do my best to flee from it. With me on your team, I will offer you complete peace and tranquility. When tough situations arise, I have a knack for maintaining a calm, serene attitude. I believe this is an invaluable skill as couples go through their fair share of difficult times. You do not have to worry about me bailing when times get tough.

As you might have already gleaned, I am spiritually strong and value my relationship with Jehovah God. It is more important to me than any other relationship I have. I do my best to live my life in accord with Jehovah's principles which results in a fulfilling life and a full heart. I must admit that at times I sway, which is why I am looking for a partner who's first allegiance is to God as well. That way, we can help each other in our spiritual committments.

Most importantly, I know how to love you. Jehovah has taught me through His word. Even through my imperfections, I will pay attention to you, take interest in your goals, desires, and hobbys. I will support you in your dreams, and ride with you until the end. Because of my fear of God and my responsibilities as a Christian, I will never intentionally treat you unfairly or be unkind. I will never cheat on your or even cause my eyes to wander so as to lust for another man. I understand the importance of giving my whole heart, mind, soul and body to you after I give of my all to God. You will never have reason not to trust me. Of course I am prone to make mistakes, but my heart condition is pure. Please know that...

I am sure that there are things I left out, but this is the best I can do on the top of my head. I must reiterate that I am by no means perfect. Knowing this, I am open to learning new things, building new bridges and developing new skills with you. I hope that I am what you are looking for and have fully answered your question.

Magical Dreams

The dreams were absolutely crazy last night.

In one dream, I made love. In another, a person asked me to start a relationship with him. In another, I attended an event that took place in the snowy mountains where I was dressed in a gown made of swarovski crystals and ice. In another, I danced passionately with a man in an empty barber shop.

What was going on in my head last night?
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