Question to Black Men - Unbeweavable?

Disclaimer: I understand that I'm making a large generalization of all black men. This may not apply to some, but for the most part, will apply to many.

Why don't black men like weaves? I have come across my fair share of young, black men who just do not like it when a woman wears a weave. I understand the whole being natural tidbit. I actually prefer being natural to wearing a weave, but I'm looking for a little insight here. What's the black man's main objection to full sewn-ins, tracks, hair extensions and the like? Is it because you aren't fully free to run your hands through her hair like you want? Is it because you feel like she's perpretrating a fraud? Is it too fake for you? Would you prefer to see her au natural, especially before dating her? Is it because you're afraid of being surprised or losing your attraction to her once the weave comes out? Be honest here.

A large percentage of women in California wear weaves. Beauty, attractiveness, hair, fashion...it's pretty important out here. So while some woman wear them to "fit in" and blend into the California dream, some simply prefer the long, thick, lucsious look on themselves. If a woman believes she looks better and feels 10x more confident with her sewn in, is that okay? What if a woman just enjoys changing her hair style and runs the gamlet between weaves, wigs, braids and her natural hair? What do you think about that? Is that just too much for you or what? I do feel like the older black men get, the less they care, but I could be wrong. And why is okay for celebrities to wear weaves and not the everyday woman?

I have another question: Are most black men aware that black women wrap their hair at night? If you are, would you be surprised if your girl wrapped her hair the first night you guys spent together? Or is that just not sexy? If not, at what point is it okay for her to break out her scarf, do-rag or head-tie?

You know we women do think about all of this when we start talking to you men. "Girl my hair is not going to be as fresh as it could be! You know I can't wrap my hair tonight!" "I hope he doesn't touch my head or ask me if this is a weave. If he does, we're going to have to have a talk!" "Please don't let him be one of those pull-my-hair type! My track might come out!"

Comments Please?

Fruits of the Spirit

Boy it's been an emotional day. Why can't life be a little easier? Satan really messed us up ya'll. He seriously funked us up! I mean how many people are walking around hurt because of the hatred he has planted in people's hearts? I so hate Satan. I despise him. It's a good thing that he's going down. The evil character will be destroyed!

Through listening to other people's stories, I'm only reminded how blessed I am. I really can't complain about anything, ya know? I'm happy, 100% healthy in a world filled with AIDS/HIV/STD striken individuals, intelligent, well-rounded, morally conscious, spiritual, etc. I have a well paying job that affords me a comfortable life. I mean, I'm good! Truly good. My only prayer is that I can continue to be good. Of course I'm prepared for challenges and unforseen occurances, but I'm so good that I don't think anything can be too hard for me to endure. Like I said before, I'm extremely blessed.

I feel like I'm about to go deep on ya'll but I'm sure you'll follow.

Guys... *sigh* Please remember to be kind. Be kind/nice to one another. I think people forget about that action and what it truly means. It's such a simple word that we tend to overlook it. We focus more on bold words like love, honesty and dependability. But there's something underneath those words that would wrap it all up. Be kind. If you're kind, you're showing love. You're showing that you don't want to hurt someone with a lie. You're kind enough to think about someone else as to be dependable. There's a lot of strength in being nice to someone. Not that fake kind of stuff though!!! You have to be sincere with it. Ya'll know what I mean. =)

I challenge you to be kind for an entire day to whoever crosses your path, NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE THE PERSON OR NOT, and I guarantee you that you'll feel like you're walking on air. It's a sensation that comes back to you tenfold. I promise you'll love it. If you don't, you can come back and curse me out. ha! (not really.)

What other "fruits of the spirit" do I like? There's love, joy, peace, long-suffering, KINDNESS, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control. My favs would have to be peace, which I deem as my middle name by the way. I hate friction and drama. And...joy. I need to work on the mildness and long-suffering part though. (That's for your baby boi.)

So that's enough preaching for the day.

What's your favorite fruit of the spirit and which ones do you need to work on? Look internally, be honest and share!

A Writing Challenge

Baby boi gave me a list of words and I am challenging myself to string these words together in 2 or 3 sentences. Just stretching my mind a bit.

feelings, life, dreams, weather, work, swimming, Signal Hill
My feelings tell me that life is a string of dreams that weathers various storms. When I encounter those storms I break away to swim in the sites of Signal Hill.

love, flaws, paper, writing, Bible, photograph, singing
He loves the simple flaws of me. His papers are full of writings that give lessons like the Bible. He creates images in photographs that make me sing.

addicted, fitness, bill, awards, highlight, you
Addictions are not positive. Instead maintain a fitness to accomplishment that allows you to bill your time in an award-winning manner. Highlight you!

spring, box, water, volume, change, only
Falling in love is like springing into a box of water. One day it's quiet and but in the next, love's volume smacks you in the face. It's all about unpredictability and change - good ingredients only.

delicious, taste, honey, sexy, resist, night
He looks so delicious, tasting just like honey. Oh so sexy, but I must resist him for he just wants it for one night.

Dwell in creativity people!

Moods

7:30am
I am having a wonderfully peaceful morning.
I'm feeling very powerful, womanly and strong right now.
I am feeling correct.
On point.
Knowledgable and intelligent.
Productive and proud.

1:06pm
My climax has ended.
I'm sliding down the hill.
Getting tired and uncomfortable.
Back hurts.
Ready to finish the day.
3 more hours to go.

It's amazing how moods change.

All Over The Place

I’m not feeling very well today. My monthly friend is kicking my butt. I’m trying so hard not to let her ruin my spirit but she’s taking over. I feel like I weigh 800 lbs every time she rears her ugly little head. I’m moving SO slow today. I just need to sleep. Sleep is always the remedy. At least I get to go to work early. I should be out by 6 today. I’m listening to a sexxxy groove mix of a music website. The song that’s playing now reminds me of Boomerang (the movie). “It feel so good la la. Just like heaven. Oh it’s so sweet. Oh it’s so sweet…” I believe that’s the song that plays during the bedroom scene. Eddie Murphy and Robin Givens. I wasn’t allowed to watch that movie when it first came out. I remember I was out of school for the summer when I first saw it. It must have been during high school because only then could I have spent my days laying on the couch watching movies. “I love it when we’re cruising together.” I miss D’Angelo. I thought he was getting his self together. HM had a preview song from him a while back. Speaking of previews, I’ve been listening to Carl Thomas’ new CD a lot. I love it. Carl Thomas is the man! He makes me want to grab my honey and dance. My honey… That man… Dynamic, smart, profound, spiritual, intuitive, positive… Made for me… Simply amazing… I told him that I loved him for the first time today. I meant it with all my heart too. Can’t wait for our special dinner on Friday. Ladies – don’t you just love it when a man picks you up from your house? I don’t care if you’ve been together for 3 years or 3 months. There’s something about getting cute and him knocking on your door. What’s up with all this “meet me there” stuff? It’s like they don’t care. That’s lazy. Pure laziness. Yeah dating is hard fellas. Dag on real it takes time, effort and energy! But if it’s too much, then don’t do it! Don’t do it and LEAVE HER ALONE! I wish dudes would stop stringing around females that they don’t want. That’s so cruel. It doesn’t matter if these girl’s don’t have self-worth. Do you? Men should think more of themselves than they do sometimes. But I guess that’s one of life’s lessons. Now here’s a serious topic, since I’m on the topic of men…tackling issues from your side of the coin… Abortions. I’m so concerned with how many of you men have had abortions. Yes, if you have gotten a female pregnant and she had an abortion, then you have had the abortion too. Don’t think it’s just her. You lost YOUR child too. Over the last few days, I’ve talked to not one, not two, but three young men who have all had abortions. I’m amazed at how such a light issue it is. It’s like asking someone if they’ve ever had smoke weed before. "Have you ever had an abortion? Yeah man! Haven’t you?!" HELLO! Doesn’t it bother you guys?! I mean you discuss it as if it’s a fact of life and not a tragedy. Well maybe it is just a fact of life when you look at how young sexually active people are. Do you really feel unconnected from the incident because you’re not officially the one laying on the table getting cut into? I don’t know… I have very strong feelings about this. Maybe it’s just because I’m emotional today. But in any case, my questions are valid. I’m shaking my leg right now. That means I’m nervous, annoyed, bothered or antsy. Thank goodness for this music in my ears right now. Otherwise my emotions would be heightened times 10. I think I’m going to end this now. Holla back.

Tiers of Women UPDATED

A fellow co-worker had a couple things to say about LA women and women in general when explaining how difficult it is to date. I thought it was interesting. Seee if you agree.

This post has been recently updated. Check it out...

UPDATE

Disclaimer: The opinions of a young black professional male that has recently jumped into the Los Angeles dating after a dramatic "break up." My opinions are observations and generalizations based on my own personal, yet biased experiences. I strongly believe and have witnessed plenty of beautiful, dynamic, and amazing women; however, they were either in relationships (which I respect and admire) or I just haven't crossed paths with her yet...

It seems as if there are different tiers of women in Los Angeles. (Some women are a mixture of these "tiers" or some women fit in one tier)

tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out

tier 2 - models, actresses, singers, dancers, entertainers, etc.
2a – superficial/gold diggers...all about status, name brands, etc.
2b - looking for connects...smarter ones, but they are looking for the right ppl to help their lives out. almost like dating up...or marrying up
2c - then its those that already made it to some degree...they have a little bit of success and they date ppl with similar success in that field. Because I do not want to be an entertainer, producer, dancer, singer, rapper, model, actor, etc…I tend to not date these type of women

tier 3 - greek women...
3a - sorority girls that love being sorority girls. they only date greek men and act like if you aren't greek, then you have some type of disease or something. I assume most of these greek women will evolve into 3b or 3c.
3b - sorority girls that hate being greek. and all they talk about is how much they hate being greek.
3c - sorority women that graduated from the greek life and college. they tend be very successful, focused, and driven. Personally, I like these women, but a lot of these women tend to be in relationships with other Greek men.

tier 4 - professional black women (PBW) that tend to have a good balance on reality. They are focused and driven with their career, yet they are balanced with their family, friends, etc. I am personally attracted to these types of women because I am a young black professional man and I think we'll have the best fit for a successful relationship.
4a – PBW that are either too driven or too focused with their goals that they let a good thing pass them by. Don't get it twisted - these women are great women, but they are at a point in their lives when they place a priority on their goals and nothing is getting in their way. I respect and admire this type of woman, but it's just not the appropriate time to date or consider a relationship with her.
4b – PBW that is currently involved, but dude isn't quite up to their level. Who am I to judge? But I am sure you all have a female friend that could do better. I don't know what it is, but there is something about her S.O. that she can't let go of (maybe he got a little bit of thug in him? maybe they went to HS together? maybe its something...) As a result, she forces the relationship, even though the dude may not be the best fit for her. But if that makes her happy, then we are happy for her.
4c – PBW that has found a balance in their lives, they are the woman that don't need a man, but prefers a man that is on the same page (or chapter – lol) as her. She knows how to balance her professional and her personal life. she understands the values, morals, and roles that comes with relationships, etc. Of course, she is not perfect (nor am I), but she is the type of woman that you can see yourself evolving with. these women tend to be taken because they are the cream of the crop...and a good man will not let a woman like this go.

tier 5 - baby mommas - i dont know much about this, but my boy keeps finding them, lol

So then I asked him, what about DC women? (He used to live there.) I wanted to know if these were generalizations or not. Here's his response.

DC women are a little different, but some of the tiers are the same...some minor adjustments.DC (and its surrounding areas) women have slightly different tiers...

tier 1 - ghetto, low class chicks - we can cross them out

tier 2 –educators/activists/poets/etc (there are some in LA, but they are plentiful in DC)
2a – the natural sister. She has a lot of philosophies and beliefs. At times, it can be very interesting. Other times, she is a rebel without a cause. She doesn't believe in being "mainstream." You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you just wanna go to Ben's Chili Bowl for a juicy hot dog and she is ordering the veggie chili.
2b – Future politician/president/etc. – these women tend to be very driven on become the next __________________ (insert her idol here). They are very aware of politics and current events. You can learn a lot from her, but it can be a little annoying when you are not as passionate about some local issues as she is.
2c – the school chick that loves being in school. She has about 15 degrees...and you can learn a lot from her, but you have to adjust her schedule around her class and exam schedule.

tier 3 - greek women...

tier 4 - professional black women

tier 5 – "im not from DC" woman – yes, she the young lady that isn't from DC and everyone in the world knows about it. But she won't go back to the neighborhood that she is so proud of. Something about DC makes her stay, but she continues to bad mouth the city and claims to never embrace it, resulting in a frustrating relationship

then he added the following...

now...most of these LA women have things in common
1. most black women complain about black men…and that's cool, because most black men complain about black women. LOL.
2. most claim to be looking for a good black man. And most black men claim to be looking for…well, that's interesting within its self. But I know what I am looking for.
3. i think most black women in LA are all looking for the same man…cuz this guy that every woman is talking about...just doesnt really exist. if so, he is prolly taken.

And this goes for black men too. A lot of times, I tell my homies that they are not going to find a woman that looks like _____________ (insert the hottest celebrity/video model) and acts like your mother.

i had to laugh at some of his points because some I know some women who fit his descriptions.... but what do you think? where his comments on point or are they just the opinions of a man who hasn't looked hard enough? is there a little bit of hate in his voice or is this true? would you pick the same tiers he did or is there a tier or two to add? feeback please!

Weekend

I had a good long weekend. When my alarm clock woke me up this morning, I was confused. I couldn't understand why my alarm was going off, but then I remembered that it was Tuesday - a work day. =(

So I did a little shopping, partied it up with the girls, watched some movies, went to a jazz festival wherein I saw Jill Scott, Les Nubianes, Lupe Fiasco and J*Davey perform, and best of all, RELAXED. It was a weekend in which I had to be no where. No have to's, no meet me here's, no appointments... just whatever. It was so nice.

At least it's a 4 day week. I will attend an all day training in Seal Beach on the 31st, so it's really more like a 3; unless the training sucks and I feel like I'm sitting in a torture chamber.

Well that's all. Have a good week.

Click here to listen to Carl Thomas' new CD. I enjoy it. Hopefully you will too. (R.Kelly's CD along with Rihanna's new one are up here as well. To get to Rihanna's, click on audio at the bottom.)

SYTYCD

It's back...

The Office

The morning was a little rough. I had to pull something together for my director. I wasn't hands on in creating the charts he needed so I had to try to figure out what someone else did in order to get him what he wanted. He was getting pushed by his upper management, so as you can imagine, all of that fell right on my shoulders. I hate coming in midstream and revising someone else works. It's almost if you have to reinvent the wheel because you have no idea why it was done the way it was in the first place. It can be so frustrating. But I handled it. Don't I always?

You know what I noticed? Everyone around here uses the word 'convoluted'. That's not a good sign. Things around here are never evident, plain and easy.

My desk is a mess. I have powerpoint presentations, binders, post-it notes, lose pieces of paper and Aquafina bottles everywhere. It's not as bad as it sounds, but I do need to clean it up. The good thing is that I know where everything is.

We got new printers and copiers today. They're so new and spiffy! Office equipment makes me excited. lol. Too bad no one in the office can map to them. =/ We've been without printers all day long. But I would have preferred new telephones to new printers and copiers. We're still using the beige phones with the twelve buttons on them. You remember those right? One step above a rotary phone? The ones with buttons 1 through 9 along with the star the zero and the pound sign? There's no hold button, no call waiting, no msg button, no mute... Just a regular, old, beige phone. It's sad that this company has so much money, yet they won't buy us modernized phones. They'll spend money on these huge printers and copiers but not on phones. =(

I just got bombarded again with an assignment. Luckily it was a quick one. It's a challenge working a job with such high visibility. Executives and directors call into my deparmtent every single day wanting this scenario and that chart and that explanation and that data. That's fine and all, but we have to have TIME to get these things. But there is no such thing as time. Time means RIGHT NOW. Errrrr. So much pressure. At least they're quick projects here and there and not long drawn out ones.

One more day of work and I'm off to enjoy a wonderful four day weekend. I haven't had one of those in years it seems. I'm going to soak up my four days off.

My computer won't play my CDs. Hmph. Something's wrong. I just want to listen to a little Nancy Wilson. Although, it was probably for the better that I couldn't listen to my girl. Her entire CD is about lost love, which can be a little depressing at times. It's just so beautiful though. I'm going to try this broke down computer one more time... Nope. Didn't work. I'll probably restart my computer after publishing this post.

One last office anecdote. We had a "farewell meeting" today for a lady who's leaving our group and moving laterally to the group beside us. The "farewell meeting" was nice. Kat (the lady who's leaving) asked us not to do anything for her, but one of my co-workers insisted, which I thought was rude by the way. Kat told her to please abide by her wishes, but my co-worker didn't listen. So anyway, I went to pick up Kat's cake yesterday and I swear there was more decoration on the cake than cake itself. Even my director agreed! When someone mentioned cutting the cake, he said, "There's a cake under all of that!?" It turned out that the cake was pretty good. But I felt bad for Kat because she SO didn't want any recognition. It actually made her a little uncomfortable. I don't celebrate my bday, so I'm keeping the date to myself to avoid this issue... since they clearly don't listen. Co-workers do what ever it is they want to do, when they want to do it. If there's food involved, never doubt they'll put the food first and not you.

I Love My Sister

Hi

Good morning everyone,

How's your day going so far? Well I hope. I'm doing well except for this slight crick in my neck. Don't you just hate those? =/ I don't really want anything... I just wanted to say hi to all of blogworld. I realize that I don't tend to write directly to the bloggers who come to visit the space, so this is my attempt to formally do so and to say thank you and that I appreciate your comments. One of my girlfriends who also happens to be a blogger, said that she believes all bloggers write for attention. You'd have to know her to understand where this comment came from and why it was so hilarious. I was kinda shocked when she said that and ended up laughing at her. I think my exact words to her where "Who says that?!" =) I bring this out to say that while I appreciate your comments and your visits, I don't blog for attention. I love hearing what others have to say, but I blog as a release. I blog for me. Writing is my therapy, whether it's in a private journal, in email or on blogger.com. I do believe that some blog for attention. Those blogs are in fact very transparent. You know within the first couple of lines of a blog whether a person is just writing for a reaction or not. But anyway, I don't want to leave you with that. That's not all that positive ya know? Negativity can draw a person to their knees, which is why I appreciate bloggers who write about gratitude, positive lessons learned and love. It's such a beautiful thing to read people's thoughts on upbuilding things. =) Especially when they're sincere. I don't think I've ever done a gratitude post. For some reason, I really don't care to. I like skimming over others, but posting my own thankful-for's isn't appealing to me. Is that weird? I think I tend to use that energy in other places.

Ok. I just have to share something. I sent a forward to my baby boi about natural highs. I really enjoyed the list so I shared it with him. Some of my favorites were hot towels fresh out of the dryer, a good conversation, having someone tell you that you're beautiful, waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep, and a special glance. Anway, baby boi emails me back with the sweetest line ever. "That's why I don't need to smoke. I have you." I soooooo loved that!! Am I being extra right now?! Lol. He used to smoke when we began talking and gave it upon learning that I thought it was disgusting. So I guess that means a lot to me. Now that's a natural high. A sweet one-liner from your significant other in the morning. Mmmm... I'm smiling. Can you tell? I'm listening to R.Kelly's new album through a listening party website right now and he's singing about how he has a sweet tooth for his girl. So perfect for how I'm feeling right now. My heart is full...

Well I'm going to get to work now. I hope you took something interesting from my brief letter to you, even though it wasn't a gratitude list or a inspirational poem of the sorts and even though I became slightly selfish and talked about myself for a second. =/ Have an amazingly happy day everyone. And don't forget to make someone else smile!

In all sincerity,

j.a.c.

The Meeting

One night, I saw this handsome brother at the spot looking extra fine. I turned to my girl and said "Who is that?!" I never saw him before but was immediately intrigued by his stance. There was something so cool about this dude. His style was rather divine and his swagger was so freakin delicious. Apparently he thought something of me too because we locked eyes for what seemed like 2 seconds. But you know me. As calm as I am, I didn't show my face. You know how it's done. You play it cool like nothing's happened; like you're not phased. But it was hard not to flutter when he started walking towards me. As confident as he wants to be. I think my knees even got weak. I didn't know what to expect or if my tongue would allow me to speak my name. Get it together girlfriend. He's just another LA man. But how do I look? I hope he thinks I'm fly. Are my lips glossed? I should have worn that other shirt. But the closer he got to me, the more my attention shifted to him. Drink in the left hand. Crisp white shirt. Top button was unbuttoned and easy. Black suit jacket open. Black shoes freshly shined. Slender in stature but tall in height. There's no doubt that this man was sexy. I've never seen "GQ" in real life and here it finally was... standing right in front of me. My heart stopped beating. "What's your name?" Wait. This is not right. Where's the proper hello-how-are-you with the extended hand? He was making it easy to speak without stuttering. I answered, a little suspicious of his greeting. He asked me another question in a sweet, southern type of drawl; completely uncommon for the area. It was a little surprising to be honest. It was a southern twang that could be mistaken as 'slow'. Again, I answered waiting to see where this was going. Would the conversation be as "GQ" as his looks? "Can I get your number?" My eyebrows furrowed. I think my heart dropped and my nerves settle simultaneously if not within a nano second of the other. No need to sweat girlfriend. This isn't what you thought it was. Man, how looks can be so deceiving. I looked into his beautiful, bright, brown eyes and asked, "Really?" I wasn't going to add anything more, but thought it might be best just in case he really was 'slow'. I titled my head to the side and said, "Is that how you talk to the ladies?" He knows nothing about me, yet wants my number. He must not value himself very highly. Doesn't he want to know if I'm psycho, a mother of 6 kids, ghetto, or just plain ole' crazy....deranged? I was right. He was just another LA man. A little hood at that. He might as well have yelled down a dark alley, "AY! Yo baby! You is fine! Put your number in my phone!" The beautiful speciman of a man interrupted my thoughts and answered the question with some bull about that working for him sometimes. He must have clicked on to the fact that this was not one of those cases, so he added, "But I guess it doesn't work all the time." At that moment, I turned on my leather stiletto heels, flipped my hair, and walking into the lounge. What a waste.

Stuff

The heater under my desk is making a high pitched noise. I wonder if I should turn it in and ask for another. I have headphones on so it doesn't bother me all that much, but what about my co-workers?

I got a summons for jury duty in Compton. Great. =(

Bathroom Etiquette. I need to give a seminar on such to these nasty females around here. It's so disturbing. Grown women who don't wash their hands... pee all over the toilet seat. I feel like we're in kindergarden. Do I seriously need to put up signs like I did when I was a RA in college? "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!" You know what the nastiest most germ invested thing in bathroom is? The bolt on the bathroom door! Just think about it. After people wipe themselves, what's the first thing they touch? That bathroom stall lock! The handle on the bathroom door is probably not as nasty as that little silver latch on the stall door! ILLL.. Use your sleeves or toilet paper to get out of stalls people!

I'm going to see an opera tonight. Porgy and Bess. I've never seen it. Once I heard that one of my favorite songs comes from that play, I was ecstatic. Check out Fantasia tear the song up here. And of course nothing beats the original... Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. This song is SO sexy. It gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it.

So Jaslene wins America's Next Top Model!! I was so happy for her. My spicey Latina sister! Is she the first Latina to win? I think she is! And can you believe Melinda was voted off American Idol??!! I guess that was predictable though. I didn't expect Melinda to be the Idol. She'll do well without the title with her Aretha Franlin, Gladys Knight self. Get it Melinda! So now that it's between Blake and Jordin, we all pretty much know who's going to win. I want Blake to win, but Jordin might take it. Blake has skills.. he reminds me of a young Prince - a true musician. He'll be the one to produce, create and craft music. Jordin just fits the Idol image. A good voice, a beautiful girl, young, smiley... You can pretty much mold her into whatever. I wonder how much politics goes into who's chosen.

I'm listening to Jennifer Lopez's spanish album "Como Ama Una Mujer" right now. Yes I did buy the CD. Stop hatin. lol. I enjoy her music. Especially this CD. There's so much passion in it. I don't care what language you're speaking or singing in, passion is understood by all. I like her voice too. It's very sweet. I'm not saying she's a sanger... so chill everyone.. lol. I said it's sweet. But I'm a big fan of JLo. She's an incredible performer and I would love to see her in concert.

The New World Flamenco Festival is coming. I got my pre-sale mailing a couple of days ago. If anyone knows me, they know I live and die for a good flamenco performance. Since no one really feels for it the way I do, for the past couple of years, I've treated myself to the performances. It's a good night for me to bury myself in a seat and melt into the passions bursting off the stage. I can't wait. There are three different shows. Of course I wish I could go to all three, but I'll focus my attentions on one for money sake. I wish I could attend the first and last though.

Kelly Rowland's CD comes out July 3rd. Do you think it'll be any good? Why haven't I heard her single on the radio out here in LA. I hear other places are playing it. Mya comes out August 14th. I'm looking forward to some good dance tracks. Get my groove on! When is Amerie coming out with her album?! These people are taking too long. Let's go already!

Have a happy day!

A Good Time

I don't really feel like blogging about my weekend trip home. It's just too much to write. JCroft and T.C. might blog though. Stay tuned for a link...(Update: Link 1.) Long story short, I had a great time with the girls and my relatives. There's nothing like family and friends. The trip was probably too short, but I'll be back home next month so no worries. Enjoy the pics.

Probably the most enjoyable part of the trip. Chillin on the back porch with Mom and Nana. I love suburbia.







Girls Night Out.






Still fly through the smoke.


You know how ladies do. Gettin down in the circle!




Sexy JCroft. You know you love this girl. I don't know why I'm putting this picture up here. Just feeding your ego! =) Did I tell you that I love your earrings? The next time I come home, I'm stealing them. Thanks!

At Mom's Graduation





You can't really see it, but yep, that's my mom!!! Congrats mommy!

I's

You ever wonder what it would be like to look at someone and read their mind through their eyes. Just stare into their cornea and see the thoughts passing through like a train...in clear sight. Would that be a blessing or a curse? If it was a superpower, would you want it or not? Perhaps you would learn too much... more than you want to know...

His eyes are so beautiful. They're unlike anything I've ever seen before. My reflection is like crystal when I look into them. So clear. Wide open eyes. Brown as an earthy mud clay. Earnest too. His eyes can only tell the truth. Whether he likes it or not. His eyes are too honest. But I call them jewels. Topaz emblems. I wish he could see. But he can't. No one can see their own eyes. Not even in a mirror. He'll never see. Too bad because his eyes are so beautiful.

She slowly applied a dark powder up to the first long crease in her eyelid. Her left eye remained open. The right was closed. She put her hand down and opened her right eye. Vision was blurred so she blinked both eyes twice. Walking up closer to the mirror, she pulled the corner of her left eye up with her middle finger and vicariously lined her eye with blackest black Revlon pencil. Her breath steamed up the part of the mirror her lips were closest to. The line extended to the corner. She batted both eyes and stepped back. The full picture was clear. Eyes were still bare. She grabbed her staple product. "Volumizing Affect" read the tube. Doubling the length of her eyelashes, she applied another coat of XXL black mascara. After flouncing her eyebrows with pencil #4, she stepped back again. Across her mouth spread a smile. She was satisfied.

Quick Ones

Our Hands

i love it when our hands intertwine

when we grab for each other

feeling the softness of skin

interlocking our complexions together

my fingers in between yours

pieced together like a puzzle

playing with the fingertips

going from one nail to the next

lacing my palm with delicacies

wrapping around my small wrist...

My Spirit

what sticks is when you said
you enjoy my time
you do?
i was lazy
and was quiet the whole time

what sticks is when you say

that you like my spirit

my spirit?

no one's said that before
i wasn't even trying

what sticks is when you said

that i'm beautiful

really?

so out of the blue

and I didn't have makeup on

what sticks is when you say

you love me

love?

you're serious

and I know you're sincere

Last Night

"in a sentimental mood"

the song we listened to

the emotion of the night

the aura swelling the room

it was beautiful

you were beautiful

Copyright © 2007 j.a.c.

I'm Coming Home Baby!

It's Friday!!! Well for me at least. I'm so excited! I'm leaving this prison-of-an-office today promptly at 3:45pm to pack and hop on an 9:30pm flight home. This trip is so overdue. It's been forever since I've been around the pieces of my soul (mom, dad, sis and close friends). I just need a break for a second. A break from LA and the routine to get some down-right-home-grown-lovin. Whatcha'll know about that? =)

I already have big, great, happy plans for the weekend. I get in around 5am Friday morning and will spend most of the day with my mom (she took off to spend quality time with me!) until we start picking people up from the airport. My dad and sister will be flying back in from Oklahoma University where they will have packed up my sis for the summer, and my Nana will be flying in from NY. Later that evening is the highly anticipated Girls Night In!! I'm so excited for this... RM, JC, KW, TC and I will be spending our evening together being the flyest, most bangin set of females you have ever seen in your life. lol. I've dubbed the theme of the night "Showstoppers!" LOL. We're going to have Japanese at Kobe's for dinner and then head back to TC's house for wine, dessert, music and girl talk. We've all agreed to put on our fabulous pumps or heels and be prepared to talk about one thing we're greatful for. Isn't that just cute? We're going to have so much fun. Saturday is the big day. My mom is GRADUATING!! I'm so happy for her. After 24 years, my mom finally went back to school and grabbed that degree! Sinec she dropped out when she got pregnant with me, it's extra special to me that she's finally walking across that stage. My Nana and my aunts & uncles, friends and immediate family will spend the entire day together... taking pics, eating out, laughing, hugging. Talk about familial warmth! Then Sunday is my parent's 25th wedding anniversary. I'm leaving around 8am on that day which is cool because that will be their day. My sis and I need not impose on something so sacred. 25 freakin' years!! I can't believe that! I'm so happy for them! My sis and I have planned something special for them which I know they'll love so I'll be there with them in spirit during their day. And then my baby boi is picking me up from the airport to take me out on an early Sunday date. (I get in at 10:45am. I love that 3 hour differential when I'm going back west.) So yes... I'm as happy as can be right now. I'm know there's no use in trying to concentrate today. I have nothing but happiness and love and joy to look forward to.

I'm coming home baby!!!!

What Songs?

Hey guys. I need your help. I'm trying to put together a mix CD of love songs. Really good loves songs. The kind that give you goosebumps. And I need songs.

So far I have Desiree's "Kissing You" (that just HAS to be included) and the song that's playing on the blog right now. I should probably throw some Amel Larrieux on here but what song? Anyone know of any chilling Meshell Ndegeocello love songs? What else do I need? I'm stuck.

Thanks in advance.

Tonight

Every life needs another life
And every heart, another
And yours, just might, need mine.. tonight

Every day is a new day
And every hour is ours to share
And every heart needs another heart
And yours just might need mine tonight…baby, baby
Yours might need mine, tonight, baby.

Every one has heartache
And everyone gets lonely
And every love needs another love
And yours just might need mine tonight…
Yours just might need mine tonight- ohhhh

Everyone needs someone to talk to
And everyone needs, needs someone to love
Every life needs another life
And yours just might need mine tonight…

Come on girl
Yours just might need mine tonight
Give me your love
I need your lovin
Baby I need I need I need it
I want your love girl
Give me all of your sweet loving baby
Tonight
Baby Tonight
I need a little love tonight
I wanna love you all over and over baby
Tonight
Maybe tonight
Maybe tonight
Just for tonight
Everybody needs a little love baby
Maybe just for tonight
Maybe tonight
I just maybe baby
Just for tonight
Maybe tonight
Maybe just for tonight
Gotta have your love girl

Kem

This song... this song...
It reaches my soul and every depth of my being...
This is love...

Thoughts

*sigh*... another day another dollar... getting tired of the routinue... need a break in the plan... one more day and i'm out... mood today: blah... don't really care for much... i'm so underwhelmed... every day i seem to arrive to work a little later... yesterday it was 6:15... today is was closer to 6:20... it takes a lot to be here on time... it really does... the things i do for the slave master... don't mind working for a slave master... surprisingly... just has to be in a field that i love... i want a new job SO bad... my life can't begin without one... i feel stuck... eric roberson says to do what you love and love what you do... so jac, go back to school... yes ma'am...

lost both of my cartouches... no i didn't... they were stolen... out my hotel during my business trip a few months ago... everytime i get ready to choose my necklace for the day and think about my cartouche, my stomach drops... i'm so sick about it... my mother gave me those... my sis, best friend and other little sis and cousins all have cartouches from my mom... need to order them asap... that's what i'll do with the extra money coming to me... won't be the same that i'm paying for them tho... they lose their meaning...

like bobby valentino's CD... didn't think i would but i do...

been seeing a lot of snails latey... one here and one there... lookin like they're just sitting... i know they're not tho...

i'm wearing my burberry brit perfume today... i think it's beginning to be too sweet for me... not really a sweet type of girl... prefer the sexy, subtle scent... time to get rid of the brit... what do i do with it?...

just talked to mom... she says she's having a bad day... the air in her tire is out... she turned around to go home to get dad's truck... his truck is dirty... there's no gas in it... she laughed and said she wants to just stay home... poor lady... we all have days like that... she's taking off friday tho... i told her to go in and tough it out... one more day...

one of my oldest friends is not doing so well... my heart goes out to him...

stay encouraged people... things may be difficult but if you continue to do what's right, you'll fair well in the end... have stamina, endurance and long-suffering... be stronger than people think you are... the shock effect is always nice... people might think you can't, but prove them wrong... no one is going to take care of your business so be on top of your own... handle yours... don't let them see you sweat... and if they must, communicate your feelings in an honest-hearted fashion... do something for yourself every once in a while... take a break from all the commotion... live for God...

i love you all... have a peaceful day

Summer Heat

I live for summer heat

Nights that are docile and kind
Like a lovers hand
It's touch delicate and sweet

The heat of a night intrigues me
Like an undiscovered passion
Ready to burst out
Ready to breathe

The tempature comforts me
Like a mother holding her child
Safe and secure I feel
In the bosom of warmth

I feel the heat kiss my legs

A sweetness that sends me up

Higher than the stars
Out of orbit and space

I love a hot breeze

Flushing out my cheeks

Leaves me craving a cool rush

In the instant of a time

Summer nights are what I love

I urge them to float in

On on single white cloud

And last for a lifetime

Copyright © 2007 j.a.c.

R&B Male Groups

Happy Monday

I saw Chico Debarge and his big brothers Tommy and James Debarge last night. That was a cool show. Chico did well, but I enjoyed when they took it back and ran through the gamlet of Debarge songs. That family is very talented. The show had me reminisce back to the days when my sister, my mom and I used to drive to work and school together when I was in elementary school. I remember listening to all the cool male groups. The Debarges, After 7, Mint Condition, and Tony Toni Tone... and then on to Hi-Five, Guy, Bell Biv DeVoe, and New Edition. That's when male R&B groups actually sang to females about meaningful things. They were smooth, sweet and respectful. Then we had the sexier groups like Shai, Jodeci, and Silk. Things aren't quite the same now. We HAD Dru Hill, 112, Jagged Edge, Blackstreet, LSG...who all sorta disappeared on us. But please tell me how we go from The Temptations, Earth, Wind, & Fire and The Isley Brothers to Immature, B2K and Pretty Ricky. Hmm...*shaking my head in sadness* What a shame. =(

In homage to the good ole' days, here's Quincy Jones' Secret Garden by Barry White, El Debarge, James Ingram and Al B Sure.

Have a great week everyone.

From Friday On

Friday

7:30 - 8:30am - Training Class

10am - My presentation in weekly staff

11:30am - Lunch with Kevin and Pam (old co-workers)

3pm - quitting time

5pm - Baby boi's house

7pm - Bible study

9pm - Watch Babel with baby boi

Saturday

10am - Hair appointment

btwn 1 and 5pm - Visit a Toyota dealership to inquire about the FJ Cruiser, Do some Boeing work, Shop for a much needed brown purse/bag

7pm - Fight Party

Sunday

10am - Bible study

11:45 - 1:45pm - Kingdom Hall

2pm - 3pm - Family Bible study

3:30pm - Do some Boeing work

7pm - Chico and El Debarge concert

1am - Bed

Have a great weekend everyone!

10 Weird/Unknown/Crazy Facts About Me (For Teej)

Read this to know why I'm partaking in this activity.

1. My bladder is crazy weak. If I say that I have to go to the bathroom, you better let me go or both of us will be embarrased.

2. I hate voicemails. People leaving them for me...checking them...leaving them for others. Just can't stand it. Please don't leave a voicemail saying, 'hey. this is X. call me back.' Hello!? I know who it is!! I have caller ID and a little icon that says I missed your call. You just made me waste 2 minutes on my phone telling me something I already know.

3. I do not like putting things like nasal sprays up my nose. Purposefully putting things up there creeps me out.

4. This is not information I really care to share, but I can be somewhat ditzy sometimes. I do my best to hide it, but for some reason it always comes out at some time or another. My ex used to call me Jess (Jessica Simpson) during my blonde moments. I'm a rather smart individual so most people don't know this.

5. Snickers are fantastic! Caramel is disugsting. Peanuts and chocolate together is disgusting. So how is it that I can devour a snickers bar? Beats me!

6. I love calendars. Calendars on my desk, in my phone, on my wall, in my purse. I just love calendars!

7. I recently dreamed that my mother murdered me by slicing up my face. Now if that ain't crazy, I don't know what is. (I was sick when I had that dream. My mom just happened to call in the middle of my nap. I always have nightmares when I'm sick.)

8. Here's a weird one for you. (At least it is for me.) I'm falling out of love with shoes. =O Me... the crazy shoe freak is falling out of love with shoes. I don't know if it's this seasons offerings or what, but I hate shoes right now. There's not a shoe out there that I would buy.

9. I can live off of a bag of Chedder Cheese Cracker Combos. I rarely buy them because I can eat an entire bag in one sitting. It's kind of sad because the bag is pretty large.

10. Don't ask me to remember anything. I choose not to remember and don't really care to remember, so if you ask me if I remember, I'm going to reply in the negative. My nana says it's just me being lazy, and I agree.

That's all folks!

What are 10 Weird/Unknown/Crazy Facts about you?

Girlfriends

I want a girls night in! My girl JCroft just had one and I'm jealous! Check out her post. It's been a minute since I've hung out with the girls. We've been on our own paths now for a while for various reasons (Jenn and I are involved and busy, and Jai is working on some things that need to be taken care of) and I have to admit that I'm getting kinda anxious. I didn't realize that 3J (Jen, Jenn, Jai) meant so much to me. But of course you never truly realize until you don't have it anymore. It's important to carve out time for the girlfriends. Especially when you're in a relationship. I don't particularly care to be all up under someone for all 100% of my free time. That's crazy to me. I had a life before the relationship and I want to maintain it during. I hate that we'll have to schedule 3J time, as if it has to be fit in. Something about that doesn't sound right, but I'll do what I have to do to roll with the girls. So ladies? You ready? Let's roll!

Quiet

Feeling a sad type of quietness today

Not a sentiment I can really explain

Just feel like sitting down and looking

People watching and day dreaming

Under a large tree in a sweet wind

With my legs crossed and hands in my lap

There's not much to it today

It's just a feeling best expressed in quiet

Today's a day to just be quiet

A woman who's quiet

Accountability

She's the right woman
She's the reason why
I changed the plan
Why I don't lie

Why I don't see others
Why I abstain
Why I remain clean
Why I refrain

I was that guy
Did whatever I wanted
However the hell I wanted
Until I met what I wanted

There's something about her
I don't want to lose
So I don't do whatever
It's her that I choose

She's changed my desires
I know what I prefer
I'll tell it to the world
All I need is her





All you need is her
She's the one you adore
You don't want to lose
I've heard it before

She's not the one
To make you change your ways
Please believe it
Trust me when I say

You're not accountable to her
She's only human
Just like your Stacey
Kim, Aliya and Susan

There's something greater
There's something more
There's something higher
To reach for

Forget about her
And what you'll lose
It's all about God
So please don't confuse

Your relationship with Him
It'll be your number one
Focus on pleasing Him
So you'll never be undone

You cherish Him
You'll autmotically cherish her
You obey His laws
Then to her they'll refer

You'll be a better person
Tons of issues will be squashed
It'll be ten times easier
Only then can your hands be washed

Copyright © 2007 j.a.c.

Killing Me Slowly

I need to meditate for a second. My co-worker is killing me. She's a major staple in the department and has an enormous amount of responsibility. She touches many of the executives in finance and is always presenting something to the directors and finance heads. Since joining this department, she's been training me on everything and I am so overwhelmed. Well overwhelmed might not be the right word, but she certainly is tiring me out. She's throwing a lot of responsibility on my shoulders which leaves me no time to take care of the other assignments that I need to work on. She normally comes in around 10am, but hardly do I have time to myself. She leaves me with assignments and follow-ups that keep me occupied throughout the day. I thought I was going to have a little me time today because I was able to take care of everything before I left work yesterday, but I just got an email from her saying that she'll be in early today. In ten minutes to be exact. =( If this woman doesn't slow down she's going to kill me. I love the challenge, but I have other responsibilities that I need to take care of. I have to give a presentation on Friday that I haven't started in addition to editing and submiting my goals on my Performance Evaluation. I've had those as tasks since last Thursday and I haven't been able to touch either of them. I'm going to tell her that I need a day. I understand that everything she has is hot, but I need to dedicate time to other things. Feel me?

I have 8 minutes until blast off. *sigh* Let me prepare myself.

Have a nice day everyone.

Female R&B Singers

I was listening to Brandy's latest CD yesterday, Afrodisiac, while cleaning my place. I think that's one of the most slept on albums. It's a very grown up album...very mature. Then I began to think, what ever happened to Brandy and Monica? Is there a market for those two anymore? Mya was in the same crowd and she seems to be doing okay. Did Beyonce', Ciara, Rhianna, Nelly Furtado, etc. snatch the limelight though? If baby girl was still alive, do you think she would be okay? Would she be able to carve out a space for herself? For some reason I think Aaliyah would be okay. She would always reinvent herself. What do you think?