The Hunt for a Home

We put a contract on a house! Yaaaay! The seller has already given us our congratulations speech, but I'm still holding my breath. We have inspection and appraisal to go through first. So while we chug along to our closing date of December 29th, here's some design and inspiration thoughts I've had. I really pray that we get this house so this blog isn't in vain!

So, the first few things we need to do when we get in is put in hardwood floors, paint, and get new appliances.

The floor I keep thinking about the most is the first floor which has the living room and kitchen. Since MJ is going to have his man cave in the basement, I really want to own the look and feel of the living room. That's going to be my sanity room. My woman's den.

Here's the current living room.

And this is my inspiration for the final transformation. This room is so me. I love the comfy look of this sofa mainly because I could curl up and fall asleep on this thing. My mom and I agree that that rug is to die for. Look at the texture! Can't you just imagine the feel of this rug on the soles of your feet?! And those Crate & Barrel chairs. Ugh. I love them but they are entirely too expensive. I'm going to need to find my chairs at thrift stores or antique shops.

I'm thinking I want to go with grey walls and dark hardwood like the picture below since the furniture and rug will be light. I'm actually going to go for a lighter grey than this.

And here's the other room I keep dreaming about. My kitchen. Here's how it looks now.

And here's how I want it to look when it's all said and done. We were thinking about granite countertops like everyone else does, but the more I think about it, the more I become interested in concrete countertops like these. MJ wants the sink built in just like the picture which I'm in total accord with. We've already researched how to paint the cabinets ourselves. It's going to be a cool project. Think about this kitchen with dark hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances. Ooooh yeaaaaaaaah.

Here's a look at the space right next to the kitchen. This picture is taken as if you're standing in the kitchen looking out.

I'm thinking of doing this since I've always wanted a window seat/bench.

Or this... I don't know how this would work in the bay window, but if I find a way, I'm doing it.

I'm looking for a curved bench for the bay window area. That's going to be my prized win.

I pray we get the house! More on where the house is, etc after December 29th!!!

Best Friend

The very topic of "best friends" has been on my mind lately. I didn't know how to verbalize my thoughts until I read this article today. I couldn't put this better if it were my own words.

If You Were To Write Your Dreams, What Would They Look Like?

Please type a comment.

Tyler Perry's 'For Better Or Worse'

For a change, I like this Tyler Perry-created show. The first two episodes were cool. I love love love how Marcus stood his ground against his ex. I was worried that he was going to make a bad choice. But nope, he stayed loyal! We need more examples of loyal, black married couples. If you want to know what I'm talking about and the episodes are not sitting in your DVR or you haven't already watched them, click here to watch the full episodes. I hope this show gets a lot of support. Tune in on Fridays at 10pm on TBS.

Spiritual Thoughts

Been thinking about my relationship with Jehovah a lot more than usual over the past two weeks. I suppose it's because we had the visit of the circuit overseer who usually kicks us into shape. In one of his discourses, he told us to get it together not now, but RIGHT now. Of course, I've been teetering over this thought. Do I have it together?

Lately people, namely my family members, have been telling me that I'm growing or that I'm maturing or giving me little pieces of wisdom to help me in life. Unfortunately, I haven't been taking it well. I have a problem when I vocalize a thought and someone is shocked that I said it and deems me as maturing. That mess irks the heck out of me. My thoughts and decisions have been about the same for a while now. Maybe even years. But since I don't talk my thoughts out, when I finally do, my vocalized thoughts get treated like their brand new. It's truly annoying. Something inside wants to chastise myself though. Am I so big and bad that I can't just accept what people are saying to me? Do I have a problem with humility? I said that I've been pretty mature all my life. Do I need to reevaluate that perception of myself? One would think my mother would know me better than most people, so if she's says I'm maturing, maybe she saw something in me before that wasn't mature. I have a hard time believing that I wasn't mature though. But that last sentence right there can lead to problems. Am I overconfident? Pride is before a crash right?

Another thing my circuit overseer said was that when pressure arrives, what's in your heart comes out. In other words, he was telling us to root out all the bad things in our hearts at this moment for it gets really really REALLY hard in this world. I agree with him and totally understand, which is why I've been thinking a lot about what's in my heart. You want to know what's in my heart? You want to know what I'm attracted to? You want to know what I long for? To be blunt, a vampire movie, Christmas music and old holiday memories. Now as a JW, these are things I should quite be looking towards or longing after. When you think of Christianity, blood-sucking vampires don't exactly fall in the same circle. Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity and holidays are either man-made or pagan. My husband found the common theme in these things for me, which I didn't even notice. Twilight is about passion and love. Christmas music is about warmth, joy and love. Old holiday memories are about family, joy, warmth and love. He's right. What I truly want is the feelings I get from these things. It sucks that the feelings are all nicely wrapped in things I can't open. I don't know how else to get them so that I don't long for vampire movies, Christmas music and old holiday memories. How do I get these things out of my heart?

I know I need to pray more. When I pray, I usually pray for general things and never remember that I need to pray for something specific. Hmmm. I need to write down everything I need to pray for and review it before I pray. That sounds retarded though. Sigh. There's just too much crap in my head.

Bridget Kelly: Thinking About Forever (Acoustic)

Frank Ocean wrote this song for Bridget Kelly...one of the newest signees to Roc Nation. I heard Frank sing it first and absolutely fell in love with the song, but Bridget is doing her thing on this acoustic version. Her voice is so pure.

Milk + Honey, Webisode 2

To see webisode 1, click here.

Saving This Forever

As I sit here at my desk, I can’t help but to think about how you looked at me on Sunday night when my back was hurting. I walked up to the sofa, sore, and you looked up at me with those pretty brown eyes. At that moment I felt my heart melt. In your eyes, I saw your deep affection for me. I saw your appreciation for me, and I saw how much you cared. Most importantly, I saw my future. You are my baby girl, I love you so much and I would do anything for you. I have been thinking about the moment where I looked into your eyes for the last couple of days and wanted to let you know. I hope that you have a good day sweetheart.

Review: Talk That Talk (Deluxe Edition)

I've been waiting for this album to drop. I love Rihanna's first single "We Found Love" so I bought the album while falling asleep last night.

Here's the deal. She has a lot of dance, tech tracks on the album which I LOVE. There's nothing more invigorating that dance music. However, I don't love this album as much as I loved Rated R. I was able to blast Rated R through and through (safe for maybe 1 song) in the car's stereo and actually FEEL her. Maybe it was the anger that I could identify with, particularly because it was real anger which no doubt came from her life experiences with her ex-bf. This album is different. Talk That Talk is cool but it's not blow-me-away great. But that's the same way I felt about Loud when it first came out. I kinda still do even tho she's done a remarkable job of making the songs come to life with treatments and major radio play. It doesn't seem like she put a lot of hard work into Talk That Talk. It's almost like she spit this one out real quick to keep her hype up. The lyrics don't vary much and the music is easy and repetitive as most dance tracks are. The album isn't a toss away though. One this is for sure, I'll get a lot of exercise dancing to most of this album. I've found my gym playlist.

You da One - cool, little, pop, bubble-gum song. it'll be cute for the radio.
Where Have You Been - love the music on this joint. it has one a great bass rhythm that will bump the mess out of some stereos. the techno beat on this song makes me want to turn out all the lights and dance hard.
We Found Love - good choice of a single for her. love the swelling and build up of this song.
Talk That Talk ft. Jay-Z - this is the only song where she carries a feature artist. to have Jay-Z on it, I thought it was going to be epic. then again, i don't know why i thought that. it's just okay. Jay's rhymes are lazy and so is Rihanna. this was a waste. i wonder why Jay doesn't put as much into this as he does on WTT. if they choose this as a single, i'm sure it'll catch on after hearing it 1,000 times though.
Cockiness (Love It) - i can't even listen to this song with words like suck, lick, eat and sex slave. a bit much for me. she done lost her mind on this one. watch this is the one that everyone loves tho.
Birthday Cake - this is a short interlude that too makes Rated R look like Rated G. it has a Kelis feel to it. i'm glad it's an interlude because it could be too much like the previous song.
We All Want Love - this is one of her slower songs that i like. she's talking about being lonely and wanting love. the emotion that she tries to convey peaks through a little. she's not really good at emotional songs tho. nevertheless, i hope she puts this one out.
Drunk On Love - another song about love that i can get with. it's very Evanescence like which I'm very okay with.
Roc Me Out - after 1 minute of this song, i get bored. it's very monotonous. no variety on this song at all.
Watch 'n' Learn - ha! i like this song even though i shouldn't. it makes me think of the more intimate details of me and my husband's life. the music is great.
Farewell - i usually skip this one, but she needed an epic feeling pop song on the album. it's soundtrack worthy for some emotional movie.
Red Lipstick - i'm confused on this one. i have no idea what it's about! it feels like i shouldn't be listening to it though. it has a scary vibe to it. reminds me of how i felt about the disturbia video. psycho and evil.
Do Ya Thang - another teeny bopper kind of love song. believe me, it's needed on this album.
Fool In Love - i like this one. it's probably her most vocal songs. it's slow. it's about love. and she sings the most on this one. it kinda makes me wish she could sing better though. i can see this one the stage. the production is cool on this track.
We Found Love (Extended Mix) - more of the same of the original version only longer. i'll play this one when i need an extra push on the eliptical machine when i get back to the gym.

I give the album a B. I wonder how long she'll be able to milk this album. Rihanna is going to have to do some visually stunning videos and do some shocking wardrobe and hair gimmicks to carry this one out for a while (which I'm sure she'll be able to do). She actually could have rode a little bit longer on Loud if this is what she wanted to give us. Have you heard it yet? What do you think? Where do you think RiRi should go next?

Positive Celebrity Relationships

With the mess that celebrity-ville has created in the relationship sector, it's no wonder we don't take them serious when we hear that two of them are getting married. While we hope it's for real, not many of us are duped into believing that it's for the long haul. That's why it's good to remember and focus on the few of the rich who HAVE held on to the sanctity of marriage. And because it's so easy for women to fall in love and ride or die for one dude (that's the nature of us!) let's run through a few of the famous husbands who just love them some love.

Let's start with the GQ man of the year, Jay-Z

This man loves him some Beyonce! So cute! I simply love their relationship. And you know Bey loves her some Jay. They have eyes for no one else.

Will

This man's passion for his wife is unlike anything I've ever seen. He is totally in love with Jada.

















T.I.

While T.I. may have stunned us with his choice of women, you can't do anything but respect the man. I mean how long have they been together?! This is a great example of a ride or die couple. T.I. and Tiny ain't going NOwhere.










Boris

Named one of the sexiest men alive, Boris could have any women he wanted. And I'm sure he's flanked with temptation every where he goes, but this faithful man only has eyes for his wife of 6 years.














Grant Hill

When I think of Grant, I think of a strong family head. I remember hearing them talk about the diagnosis of Tamia's  multiple sclerosis and his potentially fatal infection all in the same year. Knowing the stress that illness can have on a family, I'm sure it was no easy thing to deal with. But through the tough times, Tamia said that Grant was always there.











Robin Thicke

These two kids are so freakin' adorable to me! Robin just KNOWS he got himself a dime. I only hope my husband and I are this cute.
















President Barack Obama

Even the most powerful man in the United States knows what it means to love his wife. President Obama's humility shines through like a bright light whenever he's focused on his wife. It's clear that he understands the meaning of 'behind every good man is a good woman'.














Marcus

This man, my wonderful husband, is by no means a celebrity, but I can't possibly think of great husbands without mentioning my own. On his day off yesterday, this man picked up my contacts from the eye doctor, got my clothes out of the cleaners when they cost way much more than he budgeted, fixed me dinner, took care of my spiritual needs AND snuggled up into me when the day was all said and done. Most importantly, he loves me more than I ever thought I could be loved.


Honorable mention go to Nick Cannon. Nick is like a kid in a candy store around his wife. Hopefully Mariah will hold onto that.

Recently wed husbands to watch? Carmelo Anthony, Shannon Brown, Swiss Beatz and Cory Hardrict (Tia Mowry's husband). Will these husbands follow in the footsteps of the men above? We'll see!

How I'm Feeling

Proposal Anniversary or Not

I'm watching a tv series on my laptop. One of the best tv series ever. I won't say which one it is as it's my guilty pleasure. Nevertheless, it's the perfect way to get away.

Today is the anniversary of the day Marcus proposed to me. 11/11/09. But we haven't acknowledged each other or the import of the day much. We had a difficult conversation yesterday, so today is just one of those days. Dah well. Guess this is a proposal anniversary we'll have to miss.

Ha! I just heard the perfect line. "Why movies?" "I reject reality." I hear that!

More Tired Than Tired

I'm exhausted.
The stress from work combined with this sinus cold...
Ugh.
I could sleep for a week.
If only I could sleep peacefully through the night.
I have nightmares when I'm sick.
So I haven't had a restful sleep for a few days.
And I started my period today.
My body is telling me no.
But I have to keep going.
Reports have to be made.
Meetings have to be held.
Laundry has to be folded.
The bathtub has to be cleaned.
Dinner has to be thought of.
Not to mentioned cooked/ordered.
I'm so exhausted, I could cry.
But I'm not.
Big girls don't cry.

Kim Kardashian's Divorce

I feel bad for Kim Kardashian. I'm pretty sure that girl is sitting somewhere embarrassed out of her mind. I feel bad for her because her reality tv life does not allow her to take the time to consider her actions. Where the wedding t.v. special was concerned, after deals have been made, contracts have been signed and filming has started, it's easy to see how things can easily spin out of control. When you're in the middle of shooting your dress rehearsal, where a whole crew of t.v. people are dedicating their time and energies to publicizing your wedding, but have irritated feelings towards your fiance, I can imagine how hard it is to cancel the whole thing. But because marriage is so sacred, she should have been a bad business woman, canceled a few contracts and made her real life a priority. Her celebrity is getting in the way of her life and I hope she recognizes that before it's too late. She's a woman like everyone else who just wants to be married and find true love. I understand her need to be loved. Unfortunately for her, she's not going to be able to do that until she puts her life first and her wallet second. (Especially so the next guy who comes along can take her serious.) Recognizing that she either has to retire early or wait til her body/looks fall apart to get married is key to her love life. "The love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things..." (1 Tim. 6:10)

It's Impossible...

...to be this fine.Cot dang!

Ode to Linkin Park

"You will pay for what you've done!"
Your time has come to be eraaaaaaaaased!"
Linkin Park is screaming for me.
What I want to do, they're doing it for me.
Relate. Relax. Release.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Is it me or is it you?
I need a release.
"Let me apologize for what I'm about to say."
I need to get away.
Ever have the urge for recklessness?Mindless behavior void of common sense?
I want to forget about my promise.
"Water crate through the windows."
"The levies have broken."
I'm in urgent need of a dam.
It needs to be held back.
Find my center.
Control.

Perfection

The perfect rug for me. Which also happens to be about $1K. Why?!!!!!!

Milk + Honey, Webisode 1

I will be following this series of webisodes about African-American females struggling to reach the top... executive produced by the sexy Idris Elba. Enjoy episode 1.


milk + honey: episode 1 from brown paper dolls on Vimeo.

What did you think?

Table Etiquette?

I'm leaving happy hour with my boss and co-workers. And while I would like to go into what we talked about and give an interesting remark on having cocktails with a bunch of grown, white men, I'm not going to because of something that happened that I must mention.

So we're in the restaurant talking, tossing around jokes, laughing hysterically at each other, even though the jokes are not that funny (isn't that how these things go?) and I announce that I need to get going. I slip my jacket on and grab my purse with the intention of jetting for the metro. I start to rise from my seat and not even a millisecond later, the rest of the men start to get up as well. Worried that I was leaving too early to be the new girl, I was relieved. 'Ok, good. We're all leaving', I thought to myself. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was wrong because as soon as they were standing, they were sitting down again. I almost paused out of confusion but somehow at that very instant, I recalled the movie scene I've seen so many times before where old English gentlemen stand as women arrive to and depart from tables. Acting unaffected, I kept on walking towards the restaurant door. (Thank goodness for my movie watching memory and the vague recall of someone teaching me about this in a general session on basic table etiquette. Otherwise I would have stood there staring at them...like an idiot.)

I've been thinking about what happened for the last 5 minutes and something about it leaves me impressed, sad and confused at the same time. So as I stand here in the metro typing this into my iPhone, important questions come to mind. Why is this the first time this has ever happened to me? Is what my co-workers did basic table etiquette that men I've been around my whole life do not practice? Is this a color/culture thing? What does it say that this is even an issue to me? What does it say that I almost fell into idiot mode due to ignorance towards a proper dining etiquette gesture? I mean, to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed that this black girl right here was totally unaware as to why 3 guys would stand with me and then sit back down whilst departing a table. What say you? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Should this not be a strange thing to me?

But man…what just happened was oh so VERY strange.

The Best Man 2!

Did you guys hear?! The Best Man 2 is in the works!!! Yay!
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Ran-Dumb Thoughts

Another day, another dollar.
I'm on the train commuting into work.
Got a lot to do today.
I want breakfast today.
The deli down the street from the office will do.
Got a little Maxwell in my ear.
Perfect for an overcast/rainy day.
This short chick just got on the train with what looks like extra tall jeans on.
One fourth of the pant leg is dragging UNDER her feet.
Why?
Not looking forward to what my manager is calling 'meet and greet' happy hour.
'Meet and greet' who?
This is my 3rd week!
I've passed up 3 other invitations already.
Now I gotta sit around 3 white guys drinking and cracking jokes.
1 glass of wine and I'm out.
We're at stadium armory.
Why did this women sit on my whole hip just now!?
She just threw her big behind in the seat without watching where she was putting it.
Ugh!
I'm as close to the window as I can go.
Don't even have access to my full seat.
My neck is cold.
The one day I decide not to wear a pashmina.
I guess I'm too used to my scarves/pashminas.
Got on my leopard print heels today.
I think I'ma start dressing more boldly now that it's my 3rd week.
No more stale corporate.
Although I might need to do stale corporate for work travel next week.
It's going to be cold in upstate NY.
I need a fur vest.
Bout to hit up the thrift store for that.
Hopefully I can something really soft.
Fur vest inside of winter coat with a belt.
Pull the fur out a little.
Fashionable and extra warm.
Bout to be at L'Enfant.
Gotta transfer.
Did I blog about how I utterly destroyed my hair?
Wearing my natural curls is like taking care of a newborn baby.
You have to baby it 110% of the time.
And of course I didn't.
So my ends are damaged.
And then I did what any frustrated girl would do.
I cut my ends myself.
My hair is in curls so I really can't tell what I did.
We'll see the next time I do my hair.

JJ

Video: Frank Ocean - "We All Try"

One of my favorite songs on Frank Ocean's mixtape. The video - Wow.

Happy Monday

After spending a ridiculous amount of money on dinner for my fabulous Friday evening date night with hubby, I have the no money blues. You know...the i-just-started-a-new-job-so-i-don't-get-a-proper-check-until-forever-and-in-the-meantime-my-biggest-bill-is-due blues. It's going to be tough. I'll be on travel next week so at least I'll be taken care of on company money for at least 2 days. Thinking about my temporary broke-ness sucks, so if I have to dwell, I'll dwell on the fact that it's temporary and that my Rasika Restaurant and FELA! evening was worth it.

I did another photo shoot and interview for my site japhotojournal.com. I'm in the process of editing the photos. I'll type up the interview this upcoming weekend perhaps. I liked the interview more than the shoot. I was uninspired by the shoot. BUT, I'm going to do the best with what I have.

Everybody and their mama is off for Columbus Day today, except for Sallie Mae. I caught myself in the beginning stages of 'why me'. Yay me! I'm blessed to be able to have a job. Otherwise, while everyone else is sitting home getting paid for being off, I'd be sitting home NOT getting paid for being off. Thank Jehovah for a job!

I want some orange juice.

The end.

Video: Melanie Fiona - "4AM"

I heard this song late on the radio one night and it caught my attention. Melanie Fiona catches my attention even more with this video. Lovin' it.

To The Floor

I am DYING for a full length winter coat. I cannot find one ANYWHERE without needing to spend $5K! Please help! If you want to surprise me and buy me one...Size 6 please! =)

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Ermanno Scervino Fall Winter 2011 2012

Haider Ackermann Fall Winter 2011 2012

Christian Dior Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Martin Grant Fall Winter 2011 2012

Missoni Fall Winter 2011 2012

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PFW: Moncler Gammer Rouge

Paris Fashion Week. Isn't this beautiful? My senses are wide open with this piece. Man, I love fashion.

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Death

I don't know if it was the announcement of Steve Jobs' passing and the conversation with my mom about her not feeling well, but I had a horrible dream last night. I don't want to put it into words for positivity reasons, but boy was it real feeling. Death was heavy on my mind this morning as I threw on my jewelry and curled my hair. In my dream, I told my aunt it was okay to close her eyes because the pain would be over. And all she had to do was sleep until God resurrected her. Sure, we get the reassurance from the Bible that both the righteous and unrighteous will be resurrected from the enemy death, but does that stop us from wanting to live? I thought I wasn't afraid of death, but after imagining what I would do/feel/say if someone told me to 'just close my eyes' and in no time I would be resurrected, I'm not so comfortable with the notion. Death isn't natural. People say it's a part of life but that's not what was intended for us when Adam and Eve were put on this earth. It was intended for us to live forever...and that's exactly what I want. I want to live forever and never grow old. Thankfully, Jehovah promises that soon.

Sobering thoughts for a Thursday.

Things Are Good

The new job is going well. Today’s only my third day but from what I can glean, this is going to be an interesting position. It feels good to already see where my experience from past jobs can play a role into my future work. I’m looking forward to using my skills here. And the pay is the bomb!

 

We went to another congregation’s meeting last night. Jehovah must have moved us to attend because the district overseer’s talk was great. The theme of his talk was about avoiding regrets and I learned so much about study habits, pronunciations, and drawing closer to Jehovah. There’s something about D.O.’s and C.O.’s that have your head spinning by the time they’re done with a talk. I love that.

 

Hubby and I have been doing well. Since our falling out two weeks ago, things have been smooth. The changes we both need to make are fresh in our minds, so our behavior towards one another is on the up and up. I really see baby boy’s efforts in loving me the way I need to be loved. He smiles at me often. He compliments me more. And I even catch him looking at me sometimes in that special way. Unfortunately, I’ve been swallowed up in sickness so he’s been taking care of me more than I’ve been taking care of him, so I look forward to stepping up as well. Prayerfully, we can both continue to love each other in the manner we’re doing now. Reminders will be vital as we continue on however. You can kind of compare our marriage to the way the body handles the congregation. They teach us, we forget and then we get a long weekend of instruction to make us remember again. The same thing happens with us. We study about issues that affect us, we forget, then we get a huge makeover that’s usually inspired by a conflict. I know that hubby can do without the conflicts, but I’m down if they make us stronger. Especially if we get to me like this afterwards…loving, tender, caring.

 

Anyway, like I said, things are good. My conscience is clean. My marriage is good. Work is interesting. Most importantly, I feel peaceful. This is a good time in life. I’m glad I’m writing it down so as to remember.

Video: Them Girls Can Sing!

Her name is Joelle James. She needs a contract quick! www.youtube.com/joellejames

Slow Down?

I want to preface this blog by saying that my feelings may be totally different tomorrow. But here it goes anyway.

My attitudes towards settling down are changing. Notice the '-ing' in changing. I'm not all the way there yet, but I can see myself slowly leaning away from where I was last month. Reading this article, "Sound-Off: In No Tush To Settle Down", actually confirmed my thoughts.

Like the author of the article, I too thought I would be deep into marriage and motherhood by now. If you were to tell my 17 year old self that at 28 I would only be in my 2nd year of marriage and be no where near having children, I would have burst into tears. Disappointment wouldn't even be the word. But as time progresses, I'm beginning to very gradually get rid of the time shackles I've been dragging around on my left ankle. Don't get me wrong though. I still do feel like it would be great to have baby number one before 30. As a matter of fact, I would LOVE for that to happen, but maybe, just maybe, it would be beneficial to wait a little longer.

We haven't traveled to Europe yet. We're not in the home we wan to be in. We haven't had a consistent run of fulfilling each other's needs yet. So with that in mind, wouldn't it be better to follow the flow of things? Or is it better to plan, especially since my clock will start ticking soon? What if Jehovah has my timing all laid out and I'm fighting against that? None of my close friends are getting pregnant or are on their way to doing so. If I waited, I might be able to share pregnancy and marriage stories with someone who's going through the same experience. I bet that would be nice. But why base my timing on others? Is that a good move?

Even with all the questions, I do feel in my heart however that I need to work on my marriage more and get into a new house before making any drastic changes. To work towards expanding our family in a few months is unrealistic. More important than all the aforementioned reasons put together, my husband isn't ready. The last thing I want to do is force him to do or be something he's not ready to do or be. That wouldn't be the nicest thing. Especially if I can yield a little.

I'm still unsure about this whole in-it's-own-time thing, but I definitely don't want to force this baby-before-30 thing. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, 30 1/2 will have to be the new goal. =) Ha!

From Essence: 7 Ways to Get the Spark Back In Your Relationship

LFW: Burberry

On the tails of NYFW, London Fashion Week is on and poppin. Here are some of the African textile inspired looks from Burberry. What do we think about Burburry's use of ethnic prints? When I first glanced at the pictures I wasn't sure how to feel. I do like the line though. But are ethnic fabrics simply part of a display when they mean so much more to the Africans and African-Americans who have been wearing them for decades? What say you?

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Hard Times

Today is a better day. Even though the weather might not be that great, when my husband and I are back loving each other again, all is well with the universe.

It's funny how when you're single or dating, things seem so hard. Finding a mate that fits you can seem near impossible. But after you get married, nothing gets easier. What was once so hard, still remains hard. What I believe the biggest issue between men and women are our methods of communication. Men and women show love in totally different ways. What means 'I love you' to a man, means diddly squat to a woman and vice versa. My husband and I have very different ways of expressing love to each other. And while we both appreciate the guestures of the other, what our mate offers is not quite what we need. He feels wanted and loved when I cook him dinner and when I participate fully in sex. I feel wanted and loved when he takes the time to hug and comfort me when I'm down or when he stays wrapped up around me when we're laying on the couch together. The hard part comes in when I'm not 100% enthused about sex because I'm not getting the affection or when he's not naturally an affectionate guy so I'm not interested in sex. It actually feels worse than it just being hard, but the fact is that it will always be hard. Life in general is hard. But what we all have to remember is that our perspective on the issue makes all the difference. I already know I'm going to have good and bad times with my husband. At times we're going to miss each other on certain issues, but that's okay. The bottom line is that we love each other and ultimately want to see the other person happy. 'Work hard' is the name of the game. I'm okay with doing that as long as we 'Stay Together'.

20 Ways To Save Black Love

Stolen from Essence... Here are some refreshing comments from tweeters! I'm kind of surprised to hear this is how people feel but nevertheless I love them! I'm sure the editors dug through piles of responses to come up with the best ones. Enjoy!

1. “Be honest about whether we’re truly willing to do what it takes to make love work, which involves selflessness & sacrifice.” By @Mr_Squires


2. “Change the belief that marriage marks the end of “life”, fun and freedom. By @Maleywood


3. “Emphasize the spiritual significance of the covenant over the legal significance of the contract.” By @BWSchick


4. “In this INSTANT society Teach commitment, sticktoitiveness, conflict resolution, empathy, diversity & CARE!” By @UrbanDialog


5. “We need to give black women sufficient reason to begin respecting us again by becoming better men (husbands, fathers, providers).” By @jimitweets


6. People need to see & hear healthy relationships, great 1s & especially 1s that were not always great but they made it still. By @ivorytabb  (This makes me think I should talk more about the ups and downs of my marriage.)


7. More conversations about marriage and forums by married couples…that keep the convo real! By @myriadthatisme (see note above)
8. "Put God first!” By @EllyG_


9. “Women need to learn their role and allow a man to be a man. God didn’t intend for the woman to be the head.” By @Only1Maranda


10. “What if gov’t FURTHER incentivized marriage? Lower tax bills, subsidized housing and healthcare?” By @AwesomeJohnson


11. “Instead of the media pushing co-habitation, marriage should be encouraged instead.” By @imlizzashley


12. “Take the option of divorce off the table.” By @Key2J


13. “The culture needs to show it as more common vs. being a rarity. Most TV shows depict relationships as being drama filled.” By @RohanCrawford


14. “We have to stop glamorizing the ‘I don’t need anybody’ attitude. Wise people know interdependence is key.” By @BoldBeauty56


15. “Black Love needs better PR. It’s not just Barack & Michelle or Will & Jada.” By @YonnieTaughtU


16. “A solution for the new form of slavery..mass incarceration..in addition to aggressive education of black men.” By @LaPhonologist


17. “Increase number of healthy, mentally stable, commitment ready, family oriented black singles and a way for them to meet.” By @Occaneechi


18. “Improved communication in couples before vows are made. A lot of people don’t discuss wants and desires before marriage.” By @ibanomaly


19. Individuals should take responsibility for their personal & relationship issues & stop blaming society, men, women, etc. By @sowhatiff


20. “Increase self-love so that people can truly know how and what it means to love another.” By @NaturallyJazzy

NYFW - DVF and Tracy Reese

Everyone knows it's New York Fashion Week. Here are a few style concoctions from two of my favorite designers - Diane Von Frustenberg and Tracy Reese.



DVF




DVF




DVF




Tracy Reese




Tracy Reese




Tracy Reese




Tracy Reese



Video: Monica - Anything ft. Rick Ross

I will always love this 90's beat. Good morning world!

Fabulous!

Go head Solange!

I Got The Job!

I typed out this long blog about how overwhelmed I am and how I haven't felt good about myself in a long time but didn't get a chance to finish it because of a job interview I had to run to. Well it hasn't even been an hour since I got back to my desk and.... I got the call!!!!! Yaaaaaaaay!!!! It doesn't make sense to continue on about how rough things are when Jehovah has blessed me with a permanent job now does it?! Things are looking up people!!!

Thursdays Blessings

I'm in high spirits today! I'm not sure why, but there's no need to question it right?

Blessings
- I have a bomb husband who wants so much for me to be happy. Anytime I'm down, he does what he can to make me laugh. I love that.
- I'm grateful for all the literature that I receive on a weekly/monthly basis so that I can learn more about Jehovah.
- My parents are still alive and quicking! Which reminds me, I need to call my dad. I miss him.
- I make enough money to plan paying off my credit cards. I should be able to take a big chunk out of the two of them by the end of October!
- There are girlfriends available to me whenever I need to vent, laugh, chill and party. That's to all the wonderful ladies in my life!!!!
- I'm healthy as a plum! I don't know what that means, but yeah, I'm healthy. Lol.
- We have a car and a roof over our heads. Can you imagine being homeless during Hurricane Irene? Oh my.

If you have a special blessing that you're feeling today, share it!! I could use the inspiration!