Another Day...

...another dollar. Sigh.

The only thing I enjoy about Mondays is my husband's and my family worship. I'm not sure what's happening to me but any opportunity that I have to lay up under that man and talk, I run for it like a fat kid running for cake. It's so odd to be this into him. *cue SWV's "I'm So Into You"* But whatever, he's my husband so I guess it's all good. Let me take the pride off.

I've been thinking a lot about the love movies and romantic comedies that I savor and how they compare to my life. If you know me, you are aware of the fact that sometimes I live my life according to movies. Is that wrong? Yes. But nevertheless, I do it. Sue me. =) So, in all this thinking, I came to the conclustion that my life is actually a love movie. Granted it's not as over the top as what you may see on the big screen, but I think you could very well take some film of us and use it as one of the frames in a movie about love. I usually spend so much time comparing myself to other fictional relationships that I fail to look at my own from the outside and see it for what it's really worth. But since I've taken a moment to do so, I can honestly say that I'm living a fantasy. That's not to say that we don't get into it though. Whenever we argue, my husband acts like it's the worst thing ever, which I guess is good. He's extremely serious about fixing us up while I'm over here just taking my time waiting for time to heal the issue. I don't think a day is a long time to not speak. I NEED a day when we're upset with each other, but again, it's the worst thing ever to him. But hunny bunny (he hates it when I call him that) is getting great at diffusing my defenses. The last time we fought, he came home with a dozen roses and a card that asked if we can start over again. I was already getting weak while reading the message on the front, so when I opened it and saw that he wrote a message in the card where some of the letters backwards like a kingdergardener would, all in crayon, it was over. It was so innocent and defenseless. The man had me balling like a baby. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the evening under him - the safest place in the world. I am in the healthiest and most functional relationship in my life. And because we have Jehovah as the third cord, the relationship is super strong. I couldn't ask for a better life.

Management Analyst for the Office of the Chief Financial Officer. That's the job I want. That's the job I need. I'm extremely qualified. I'm ready to step back up to the plate. And I'm excited about the position. I won't get paid as much as I used to working for Essence Magazine or The Washington Post, but I'll take it. There's no reason why I shouldn't get this job unless there's someone else out there that's a Microsoft Access expert. That's the only bullet point that I couldn't give myself a top rating in. If used it, but I've never developed it on my own. Drat! I really want that job. If you're reading this, can you please say a silent prayer for me right now? Thanks.

Recently I've been reading some of the blogs and excerpts and campaigns and controversies going on in the internet world. Why are there so many?! No Women No Womb, The Mean Girls of Morehouse, Kim Kardashian naked on W Magazine, the Black Marriage Negotations video, Bishop Eddie Long... What is going on?! Why are there so many issues and fights!? So what that some women decided they would rather be married than have a baby daddy or two. Yes, there are gay flamboyant men at Morehouse. Did you think this would never happen when our world is becoming increasingly gay? Why are you surprised? I've come to the conclusion that every just wants to fight. As soon as you state your opinion, no sooner is there some around the corner who wants to disagree with your OPINION just to disagree. And I hear that twitter is just a platform for fighting as well. Why are you screaming UNFOLLOW and BLOCK at each other? (Stolen from Black Snob. I love that. Hilarious!) How dumb is all of this? Before you know it, some angry, crazy, smart, techy person is going to blow up the internet just to stop people from writing things that he disagrees with. It's out of hand. Simply out of control. I'm trying to figure out where the line is between keeping up with the times and minding my own business. I like reading others blogs, but if I'm not in the know, I might as well be reading in Mandarin. I guess that's why I never comment on blogs full of opinions. Unless someone is blatantly ignorant of God's will/laws and I can afford an extra 15 minutes to minister, I'll keep to myself. No use in speaking unless I'm going to shut it down with facts that come from the Bible. With as many professed Christians as there are around here, you can't really argue with that. But if people were speak Bible facts, the drama would end. And who wants that?! Smh.

Anyway, back to me. What else is going on? Oh. I've been meeting and making acquaintances with a lot of new people lately. Most of them are married couples actually, which has been quite nice. I really enjoy having them in my rolodex and plan to do some fun things with them in the future. It's nice to know there are people I can go to a Jazz Formal with (December in Charlotte, NC!), but also go out in the ministry with and talk seriously about our thoughts on ministering in another country seeing as though were are without children. I was talking to 3 of my male co-workers at once about my lack of luster for children. I tried to explain that I wanted to be free to do things that are important to me and my relationship with Jehovah, but they didn't understand. Oh well. At least I know those who do.

MJ just texted me asking me how my head was feeling since I've had a constant headache for two days now. I told him that was sweet and he asked if it was romantic enough. LOL. My man is learning! He puts a smile on my face. Well, my headache is actually starting to come back so, let me see how long I can put my head down without an interruption.

Ciao!

Black Marriage Negotiations

So true!

Rihanna - "Only Girl (In The World)"

This chorus rips through my heart. I indentify with it 100%. This is the type of chorus that I can close my eyes and scream into the universe and never get tired of repeating. Just like Ri Ri does on top of the mountain here! I always need to feel like this girl.

Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man


Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only one…



The video is stupidly refreshing for a Ri Ri video. I can breathe in this one.

Keri Hilson - "Breaking Point" Video

Yeeesss! This video is the business! Every woman has a breaking point ya'll! I can't wait for Keri's new CD!



For more leaked Keri songs, click here!

Stupid Twitter

I joined twitter recently, and I think I hate it. sigh.

I must be getting old. Everytime I check my twitter timeline, I get annoyed. Scrolling through post after post after post that says "Love ya!", "Cool!", "You betcha!", "OMG", "So true!" or something of the like leaves me feeling stupified. I'm pretty sure brain cells are dying as I read. There's nothing of substance on that thing! It's almost if I were sitting in a ballroom of valley girls who squeal "OMG, like, TOTALLY" over and over again. What's the point? I don't understand why anyone would wish that facebook would go away. It's so much more robust. Maybe I hate twitter because I don't tweet. I have literally nothing to say. But I'll keep my account as it appears to be the wave of the future. The older I get (and I'm only 27!), the more effort I have to put forth in staying with the times. sigh.

Adjustments

It's a ho hum kind of day. I think I missed the transition into fall. The rain and cold have invaded my territory. I can't believe the high is only 55 today. Nevertheless, I had a good weekend full of spiritual food. It's nice to get information that forces you to look at yourself and make changes that will put you in a better position for Jehovah's favor. Everyone needs a slap in the face every now and then to awaken from a state of comfort. The topic of materialism was huge. We received so many warnings that I would be foolish not to look at myself and apply the information. I must admit that I'm a little obsessed over fashion. Liking fashion in and of itself is not wrong, but it has to have the right priority in my life. I kinda need to be obsessed with my service to Jehovah before I become fixated on the fad of the season. I don't know how much of my thinking is given to fashion per day, but I know that I need to tailor it a bit. Or else I could end up crowding out what's most important. My attachment to material things will have a direct relationship to my survival through the great tribulation. How will I survive if I keep looking back at those new riding boots I just bought?

My action plan is to tailor how much time I focus on fashion. I get daily emails that point me towards something regarding fashion. I need to change those email preferences being that without those emails, I probably wouldn't look at it so much. While I also consider the text daily, I want to limit the attention I give towards fashion to once a week. That'll definitely give me more time to focus on my servitude. When I made my dedication to Jehovah, I vowed that I would live my life for him; that I would become His slave. I'm so glad that I received the warnings and that I'm taking steps the make the needed adjustment.

Marriage is going well. I really can't complain. We're in our 5th month and coming along quite nicely. I still like the man, so all is good! One of the main reasons why things are going so well is because of our weekly family worship. Taking time to discuss our issues, or whatever's on our minds, with the Bible is so helpful. For example, tonight we're going to review our notes from this weekend's assembly and figure out what changes we're going to make in order to draw closer to Jehovah. It's not a joke. The world, which Satan clearly has in his claws, is designed to tear us away from Jehovah. So we're going to work to combat that. They are too many distractions out here for us not to have a plan. So yeah, we're doing well. We're keeping Jehovah as that third cord, and it's proving to work! I am so happy to have MJ. I couldn't imagine being headed by anyone else. He's perfect for me.

Artist

Today is about artistry. It's all about the creative. I will go out on a limb and say that I'm an artist. I don't exercise the occupation as much as I should, but without creativity, I would be dead. Robotic normacy is dry. It's dag on near unlivable. I'm inspired by ones who put things together that are fresh. I like 'different'.

These thoughts came to my mind as I peeked over at Shannon Evans blog. A photographer and writer in Atlanta. I met her through a networking connection I made here at work. I'm really in love with her work, hence me reading her blog.

Anyway, she dropped a Bilal video on today's post that I'm so lost in. OMG. It's amazing. Check out Bilal's rendition of Bob Marley's "Is This Love". This is a man that I'm dying to see in concert. I saw him once when he performed at my college, but I need to see this man pronto. Anyway, I hope you like the video/song.

FULL SCREEN
The Sounds of VTech / bilal_isthislove_web

Kelly Again!! Forever And A Day

This girl is so cute that she's making me smile!

NY Fashion Week - Spring 2011

You'd have to be under a rock to not know that it's Fashion Week. Here are a few of my highlights for Spring 2011 so far.


Zac Posen - how adorable is this dress?! I love the shoes too!


Lela Rose - so perrttty.


Lela Rose - love the hair too.


Christian Siriano - who else thinks of a leather bolero!?


Christian Siriano - this is so me. that's sharp!


Christian Siriano - love it.


BCBGn - easy breezy... you see that mesh strip at the hem too? yes!

Here's the video of Christian Siriano's show. Be ready to be amazed!

Christian Siriano is amazing. From Project Runway to one of the most fabulous designers. Get it Christian!

How I'm Feeling - Lovin the Words To "Rose Colored Glasses"

For Colored Girls

Peep the trailor...

JoJo - In The Dark

Go 'head girl.

Reflecting: New Service Year

This month marks the beginning of a new service year... Sigh. Man on man, how times flies. And more than that, man oh man, how time changes. I kicked off my last service year by getting baptized. It was one of the happiest days of my life. But what ended up as a good jump start to my life as a spiritual woman, soon became troubled. I have gone through so much in this past year that I can't even begin to recount everything. There have been happy occasions but most of it, sorry to say, has been rough. But I choose not to dwell in the past. Instead, I'm looking forward to this new service year and all the opportunities that are coming up. I'm starting with a fresh slate and I'm ready to fill it up with positive things starting with my goals.

I'm not trying to list a whole bunch of goals here but the one I will mention is one I've been thinking about for a while. I want to serve Jehovah more wholeheartedly, despite what anyone else is doing. It's a lot easier to go hard when you're surrounded by people who likewise go hard, but that won't always be the case. Even when someone's feeling particularly lazy or unmotivated, I have to separate myself and maintain my spiritual identity. My identity is my own. No one else's. This goal is particularly important, especially in marriage. What my husband may seem to feel is enough for him, may not be enough for me. He's been serving Jah all his life. Not I. This is about me and Jehovah. So that's my number one goal for this service year - to serve Jehovah in the way that I know to be best for my needs and personality.

Considering my new role as wife, the other thing I want to focus on this service year is the use of Jehovah's holy spirit when it comes to prayer and the fruitages of the spirit. I don't think I pray enough. When things are challenging in marriage, prayer goes out the window for me and then I turn into a raving lunatic. For some increasingly odd reason, I choose to stay mad and say things that are not in the spirit of reconciliations. I say 'increasingly odd' because he's usually trying hard to fix the issue and get us back into a space of peace. It baffles me everytime we come out of something why I was so dag on crazy. That's so unproductive and I know that. So asking for Jehovah's holy spirit a bit more will do wonders, I'm sure. I also need to focus a bit more on the fruitages of the spirit. Goodness, mildness, self-control, long-suffering, joy, peace, love, kindness, and faith. I need to focus heavily on mildness and self-control for the times when things go wrong.

At the end of the day, I just want to be a good wife and a good minister/representative of Jehovah.

I wish we had an office because I want to put notes and thoughts up for me to remember on a board or the surrounding walls. Scriptures, inspiration, positive quotes, nice reminders... Something to help me out for this next year. I'm a visual person so seeing them will probably make a difference in my life. I'll come up with something in the meantime.

Off to another year... I'm praying for a good one.

Ran-Dumb Thoughts

Every woman has a breaking point ya'll.
I love this Keri Hilson song.
Can't wait til her album drops.
I'm feeling pretty good today.
I look fly too.
That always helps.
I'm looking forward to the long weekend.
Don't have anything extraordinary planned.
Just gonna drop in on a wedding down in VA.
I think I'm going to wear the same dress I wore to my meet & greet althought the bride saw it already.
I really can't be concerned.
That's the only dress I have for a wedding.
My hubby said we would be married before these two that are getting married this weekend.
He was right.
I never thought we were going to get married when we did.
There were so many struggles at that time.
So it's true.
I have too much time on my heads.
I dag on near hyper-ventilated yesterday thinking too hard.
Sitting around, reading articles and imagining relationship issues that we don't have.
The thing is that I like reading articles on stuff that relates to me.
Black female/male relationships.
But when I have too much time on my hands, I begin to internalize and take on stuff.
Anyway, I get paid today!
At least I SHOULD get paid today.
This joint is bootleg.
My gas light is on, so I NEEDS to get paid today.
I should be starting classes soon.
I wonder why PGCC hasn't sent me anything yet.
I almost forget I start classes in a minute.
OMG
I just spent a few minutes talking to one of the new girls here.
She just put me ON.
Check out her best friend's photography site.
http://www.sevanphotography.com/
This is so how I would do it!
I love strong beautiful A-American presence.
She's surely not afraid to be who she is.
I can already tell from the site.
Alright.
I'm officially inspired.
See what a few minutes of getting to know someone can do?
Yes!!!

90's Music: Remember When??

Fall Trends 2010

I'm itching to shop. I'm so excited for this year's fall trends. Here are seven. Which trend are you looking to buy this season?

The Aviatrix



I have my pea coat so it's time to search for a good quality aviator jacket.

Camel Classics



I have a cute camel overcoat with a leopard fur collar to boot that I'm excited to wear this year.

The Great Cover Up



Zara is great for these capes and cover up coats. There's where I got mine!

Country Cool



Anybody up for cable knit sweaters and parkas?

Amazing Lace



I'm looking for minimal lace this year... Just a shirt will do, if I find the right one.

Scarlet Fever



Now, this is what I'm talking about. I definitely need to go scarlet shopping. I love the color red. If I'm pinching pennies, red lipstick and my red, wedding pumps will have to do.

Tailor Made



Borrow from the boys. Blazers and tailored pants suits. This is my biggest want. Pants and pants suits.

Shopping List: winter white & grey cigarette pants, aviator jacket, lace shirt, tailored suit, red dress, parka, cable knit sweater, feminine frilly blouses

How I'm Feeling: Tired But Calm

I love the feel of this song... It goes perfectly with my mood. "I love you much too much." Thank you Maze.

Interesting Topics

I recently started reading Clutch Magazine and I'm glad I found the site. I've been in need of some pointed discussions and that's exactly what Clutch gives me.

Check out these two articles and tell me what you think.

The Super Ex-Boyfriend - The author challenges our ideas on cutting ties with exes. I wholeheartedly disagree with the article, however, I'm interested in the topic. While some may be able to stay friends with their exes out of sheer concern, I'm not to sure how I would feel about my husband checking up on his exes every now and then. Actually, I am sure how I would feel. I can imagine the issues and arguments that would result from the periodic check-ins. "Why don't you take the time to ask me how my day is in the same way you ask her how her life is going?" When we're living together, we often take each other for granted forgetting to do or say the simplest things such as "How was your day?" or "I miss you." It's not that we intentionally forget. It's just that when you see someone day after day, you tend not to be so formal. No matter if it's once or twice a year, I certainly don't want to hear my husband feeling concerned about his exes life for fear that I might get... jealous. Yep jealous.

Are You The Thorn Or Rose In A Black Man's Ass? - The comments are hilarious on this one. I agree that sometimes women need to contemplate their words and the magnitude of the support they give their black men. We can be very strong and hard with our men. Why not season your suggestions and advice with salt? Many of the commenters seem to feel that this article is an attack on the black women. I don't feel that way at all. The article isn't meant to address how wonderful we are. That's a separate post altogether and we all know there are a dozen of those out there. Our men are just asking us to be easy sometimes. What's wrong with that?

My Weekend

Yaaawn...

My weekend was good. It's the first one in a while that was joyful, i.e. void of crazy j.j. attitude. I think I need to give that chick a name because she certainly has a personality and identity of her own. I think I'm going to call her Jex. It seems appropriate that she have the letter 'x' in her name because baby girl can be criss crossed and out of her mind. Word to the wise...no one can identify her but me though. None of that, 'Jex must be here' stuff from other people. That'll only make her turn into Jexazel, and you really don't want to meet her. Lol. But back to the weeknd.

It was really cool man. Friday, I went to my mother in laws for a ladies movie night. We watched Look Who's Coming To Dinner with Harry Belafonte and Katherine Hepburn. I love that movie. Didn't realize how funny it was until I watched it with the ladies. The best part of the night was after the movie when everyone began talking about how they knew their husbands were the one and what mistakes they made in their prior marriages. (The age range was somewhere around 35 - 50.) I didn't say much, but took good mental notes. I like listening to the married wisdom of older women.

Saturday after a good morning of door to door preaching work and a Bible study, my husband and I cooled out in the house with each other and a movie. The movie was actually pretty interesting/suprising so we got a good post-conversation in about the purpose of life. It was made clear that we have differing approaches to life. At times, I've felt that it's THE thing that divides us, but I'm beginning to wrap my mind around appreciating our differences. It's hard to find the wonder in our differences, but I'm working on it. I think that's my major lesson right now.

After the movie, my husband checked his account and got stupid excited at the amount of money that was there. You see, it was his first paycheck from his new position and he undercalculated how much he would get. It was funny seeing him get so hype. It was cute actually. It's nice to see him worry free. The next words out of his mouth were "Get dressed baby! We're going out!" Two hours later we were sitting in Ruth's Chris talking, laughing, discussing... We invited a young couple who we hadn't yet hung out with to dinner so once they arrived, we had quite the nice couples conversation about alcohol, food and the first year of marriage. We were too siditty while sipping our wine and eating our chocolate cake with sweet cream and berries. Lol. After dinner, the four of us went down to K street and cut it up over long island ice teas. I haven't had that much fun in a while.

Yesterday, we rose after about two hours of sleep to join my parents, my sis and her boyfriend on a trip to Ocean City. We only got in a few hours on the beach though because it began to storm. But we made some nice memories, sitting on the beach talking about anger management and sitting in the car sheltered from the rain by a car wash while eating fried chicken and potato salad.

Needless to say, I'm tired. MJ and I have family worship tonight, but after that, I'm washing my hair and then passing out.

How was your weekend?

Scriptures And Thoughts For Controlling Anger

I apparently have an issue with anger when I'm PMS-ing. So, what could be more on time than a Biblical study entitled "Gracious Speech Promotes Good Relations"? Don't really mind me here. I just feel the need to re-type or jot down ideas and scriptures that stick out to me while reading. Take what you want from it.

- "'Let your utterance be always with graciousness, seasoned with salt.' (Col. 4:6) Such tasteful, appropriate speech is essential to good communication and peace."

- "Good communication does not mean saying everything you are thinking and feeling at any given moment, especially if you are upset. The Scriptures show that uncontrolled expression of anger is a mark of weakness, no strenthg." Ha! Point well taken. That one hit me right in the face. Sometimes I rationalize my not so good speech by thinking that at least I'm communicating. No go jj. Work on that.

- All his spirit is what a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last. - Prov. 29:11

- "'In the abundance of words there does not fail to be transgression, but the one keeping his lips in check is acting discreetly.' (Prov. 10:19) Yet, discretion does not mean never expressing oneself. It means speaking "with graciousness," using the tongue to heal rather than to hurt."

- "There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing." - Prov. 12:18

-"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and he that is loving it will eat its fruitage." - Prov. 18:21 So basically, if I spit fire, I'm putting myself in line for death and not for everlasting life. Well I surely don't want to die when I have the option to live in a paradise forever. I need to check my tongue.

- "If something a brother has said or done disturbs you so much that you cannot simply pass over it, do not let hateful feelings fester in your heart. If someone angers you, get your own emotions under control and then take the steps needed to resolve the matter...address it kindly at an opportune time."

-"Speak...in a spirit of reconciliation." Word. Take steps to resolve. Don't seek ways to get back. When I'm hurt, I find that I reach out to hurt back. It's the natural reaction due to sin and imperfection. So I need to work the spirit of reconciliation.

-Take care to select the proper time to speak. Eccl. 3:1, 7 says, "the heart of the righteous one meditates so as to answer." This is what I need. I need to take time to figure out HOW to become gracious. Because when I'm mad, I don't even know how to be nice. Meditating first is going to prove beneficial. Taking my pen and paper and writing is out is always my remedy.

- "A discreet wife," one in whom her husband can really "put trust," is considerate of his feelings, just as she wants him to be of hers. "The truly wise woman has built up her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands." - Prov. 14:1 That's powerful right there. The last time my husband and I got into it, I was so man that I tore him down. This scripture points out though that it's quite stupid to do that if you want a happy, upbuidling household. A woman's attitude can rule the whole house. If it's a bad one, it'll certainly bring everyone down. So my lesson is to not tear down. Basically, if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Silence is golden.

- "Handling anger calmly is not simply a matter of putting on a serene face. Pray for Jehovah's help to rid your heart of hurtful feelings. Let Jehovah's spirit transform your mind and heart to conform to His will." Isn't the answer always to pray?

- "Practical steps...leave the scene, thus giving your emotions time to settle...make an extra effort to speak graciously. A cutting or agressive remark would add fuel to the fire even if it is delivered in a gentle voice. Pray for Jehovah's spirit to help you to say good things, not bad."

- Ecclesiates makes some good points...The end is always better than the beginning so be patient and don't be in a hurry to get offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. It also encourages us to not give your heart to everything that people say because you well know that you have said some things about people too. So instead of taking offense, patiently analyze why they may have said what they said. It'll help in moving us to be forgiving.

- "In order for us to receive God's forgiveness, we MUST forgive others. Be quick to apologize and quick to forgive."